#tons of fun designs in th group too

[beetlebubble]

Neighbors Part 2, I think I got them all this time.

[the-firebird69]

The Battle of Hoth in Star Wars Episode V [The Empire Strikes Back] (1980)

and yes parts are filmed on Hoth.  and part on Norways west coast and iceland and even greenland the same battle yes changes battle fields same folk

and it is sad arn designed them they are cold but see why it is the empire and they hit if theycan. see this as practicce on traitors and it is more or less but yes they work for the empire sorta yup

Thor Freya

Olympus

and ifx the roof then no he is rebel scum stan says.  then perish. tons are at you shortly and your small pidly force.  and weill be eaten up by the others

Hera

tired of it. this place delapitates oif not fixxed 

Zues Hera

we use force here this is tiring.  and yes the psuedo empire will be out shortly.  before the morlock  and now are getting eaten up and their stuff.  and use force and to no avail. they refueland morlcoka re at them take shpos soon.  and the empire sees it and allows it.  shortly they will try for our son as mac did todya and had him harrass cheesemen.  and he saw it he is doing it. sat and did for a time then he was moved. and mac says i saw it too you are at us and how so ding aling.  he raises his voice at us.....ok we are you will fall. the embire is not a match why would you be.turns around an says your so inslting we cnnot stand it and ok dan...and then leaves.  is an ass. tehn this we use this anger them and they all see it we are not nice we fail and made eneimies we cnnot afford. and tons say who then. the empire divied you and you wont stop and hainous shit for me. he says this your a loser and you laugh yeh ok.  heheh.  and smiles yeh we suck. so what we die then. and you shall go  on forg here. soon they fall. and then what. the empire fals and good after and always damnit. fn losers here.

mac says it ad says off us and out find the empire they hve the ships you asholes. and hands them where no. an then this empire is kown by psuedo and sit on them and ok we see they sit on them as justin was. and see it and headed north and mac said oh well sat read the paper.  and need sugar freedoughtnuts coffee. he said good.  lauged at your idaa made some though no.  had other stuff yes.  waffles nope.  

we see 

the morock go and find them and see it bunkers block them they are up there and do it now some ck the empire  the east coast of theusa and say it the are at us and see us.  and they are attacking yes. as said earlei en mass now strike.  and soon the bugs will flow

Thor Freya

we are in the above. see our son flea bit. and are ugly about it. we iht thhise idiots. and pull them o ut need it now.  but they go to see the empire their masters. and talk too. hit and try more. and got intel see it where and why.  and it is the blue and purple now too. saw it and went in though not t he song yet.  it is a special tuesday.  and our tur they say.  we fix them shortly.  all of them.  but hthis is on the bugs are up smell it and smaller groups go but are seen. and then more.  and more ships out soon here.  after.  yes.  tons out shortly. and in from th e south smell it abit and they dont go there ships are out.  and they sense it no food.  are emptying thes outh still yes. soon will be out. and are up in brazil.  and same in africa.  huge lots.  tons ok.  Thor Freya ship ready in hours need it now yes.and all over.  and for our manuevers. tons say it we need them up and out.  mars inside no ship out need it.  and we do this now.  a huge deal the move she made and she has half gravity no it is 75% and we augment it a bit. she is happier sleeps heals. finds it fun she is big.  strong.  uses her skills. and fights finds giant room areas. and there she sleeps...ad she says  it you watch over me from there and sees it the bunker and knows the one.  ken is pissed.  and is madnow at the creature. and himself andmore.  and he knew where they were and teh whole time lol. our son did not say a word. nope.

didntkow either lol

she felt safer knows his tricks security measures and more and riggedbut not for her. he is irate.  inside we turned it all off yes and she idd too well no. we did. had to ok prior to her going there.  and we toldher.

later.  

Nuada Arrianna

Olympus

[slytherwrites]

Part Two: Girl’s Night

Momo never minded sharing you. You were an intellectual masterpiece, something to be shared and gifted to the world. And so, she would quickly talk about what you do and who you are (once her full-fledged background check came in, of course).

The next two you meet are Kyoka Jirou and Tooru Hagakure—two of the other Class 1A girls. Momo grabs your wrist harshly, yanking you towards them when she spots you in the lunchroom.

“Oh hey, Yaoyorozu!” You press a hand to your chest, your heart practically beating out of your chest, “You scared me. Anyways… is there anything you need? I don’t have your costume done, but I’m working on it during my free time!”

“Don’t worry about that right now. And call me Yaomomo, we’re friends, remember?”

“Al-alright Yaomomo.” You reply, “If this isn’t about your costume, what do you need?”

“To have lunch together!” Momo sets down two bento boxes, “Here, I had my staff send it over last block. It should still be heated up!”

“Thanks…” You take the lunch. It saves you the trouble of going through Lunch Rush’s line.

With food already with them, Momo’s other two friends don’t get up either. They have you trapped with them the entire lunch. You eat what Momo’s given you. It’s your favorite.

You don’t bother asking how she knows your favorite food. It’s just a coincidence… right?

“So…?” Momo asks, eyes wide and hopeful for your approval, “What do you think?”

“It’s good!” You reply, “my favorite, actually.”

“What a coincidence…” This is the first thing the purple haired girl says to you, “Anyways, the name’s Jirou. Kyoka Jirou.”

“And I’m Tooru!” The invisible girl exclaims, “Momo’s said a lot about you!”

“All good things, Y/N.” Momo chuckles.

“You’re the girl who was singing during the School Festival.” You place where you’ve seen her face before, “Your voice is really good, by the way!”

“Th-thanks…” Jirou’s face starts to flush.

Tooru adds, “You can hear it again if you join us for girl’s night!”

“Girls night?”

“That’s what I wanted to talk about.” Momo explains, “the 2A girls get together every Friday night and work through whatever we need to do, since heroics can get pretty stressful. And we also have our fair share of fun!”

“Wouldn’t I be intruding?” You ask, “I don’t exactly fit the requirements…”

“Nonsense, Y/N!” Tooru replies, “We’d love to have you.”

“Yeah…” Jirou comments, “I can show you some of my other instruments and some other things I wrote, besides the song for the festival—”

“You wrote that?!”

“She totally did.” Momo replies, “and she has a ton of music and whatnot. The others wouldn’t mind either.”

“If I’m not swamped with other work then yeah, I’ll come.” You decide.

Tooru squeals, “We’re going to have so much fun Y/N! Just you wait!”

===

Come Friday, your teachers hadn’t given you any more big assignments. Chapters to read and worksheets to fill out were expected, but nothing would be too time-consuming. In other words, you were free to attend the Class 2-A Girl’s Night.

All of the dorms are in the same corner of campus. Though, because the 2-A dorm was for Heroics and not Support, your dorm is still a ways away from theirs. And since you don’t want to be late, you head early.

The sun’s starting to set. But unlike your hometown, you aren’t overly cautious about walking around during this time. U.A. itself is surrounded by a massive gate and the sidewalks are well-lit. Plus, Pro Heroes are on campus 24/7.

It doesn’t matter that you’re quirkless. You’re safe here.

The sunset never lasts long. So as it's in its final moments, you knock on the door to 2-A’s dorm. It’s identical to the support class dorms. Some support class students tried to say that future heroes would get better dorms. The evidence against it is right in front of you, right down to the loud, chaotic sound emanating from the inside.

You knock at the door, even though you don’t think it would be heard. After another knock, you go for the doorknob. The dorms aren’t allowed to be locked unless there is a villain attack. So you aren’t surprised when you’re able to open the door for yourself.

The future heroes you’ve watched train and design costumes for are sitting there, in various groups. Names don’t really come to mind—except for Tooru, who is sitting on one of the green couches.

“Y/N!” She jumps up and grabs your arm, dragging you towards the elevator before anyone else can see you “C’mon!”

Your bag is secured on your shoulder though you still put your other hand upon it, in order to not lose it. The speed and strength of Tooru is unexpected, but she is a hero student after all.

The elevator ride up to Kyoka’s floor and the couple of steps to her room is over before you notice. Inside are instruments lining most of the wall—more instruments than you could ever learn in a lifetime. The red is an unexpected color, considering that her hero suit is black and pink, but you think this suits her better.

“You must be Y/N!” The pink girl with horns bolts up. Ashido? You think. The names of everyone don’t stick immediately. “I’m Alien Queen! But you can call me Mina! You’re so much prettier than they say!”

“Who says—” You get interrupted by one of the other girls sharing an (out of place) bean bag chair, “Hi! I’m Ochako and this is Tsu. Pizza?”

The other girl—Tsu—passes a pizza box towards you, “Kero.”

“Oh no thanks. I ate back with my class.” You reply, reaching into your bag, “Oh and Yaomomo, I have your completed costume.”

“Really?” Her eyes light up at the completed costume. “I’m gonna be right back, let's see how it fits!”

Momo’s in and out of Jirou’s bathroom quickly. When she returns, every piece of the costume is on and she’s modelling it for the other girls.

“I love it, Y/N!”

Ochako asks, “You designed that?”

“And built it.” You add.

Mina exclaims, “Girl, me next! I’ve been dying for a new suit. They didn’t let us change much for our winter costumes and I’m already sick of mine! Camo? What was I even thinking!”

“I’ll make note of that…”

The conversation shifts and soon you’re asked more and more questions. Favorite color? Why did you join the support department? Crushes? Your past? Your future? Sure, the other girls answer, but you wouldn’t be able to remember their answers if you tried. But they will remember yours.

A knock comes from the door and Yaoyorozu—still in her new hero costume—jumps up to get it.

“Hey, Tenya just wanted to remind you all that the kitchen’s about to close if you all need anything.” The green-haired boy comments, “Thought you all would like to know.”

You look around the spread. A bag of chips is in your lap at the moment, but food and drinks litter the floor.

“Not really, but thanks though.” Momo replies.

Midoriya says something else, but you aren’t really paying attention. In all honesty, you don’t know what you're doing here. A quirkless support student shouldn’t be hanging around with the next hero generation.

“But like, Ectoplasm giving us an essay is like, so dumb.” Tooru complains, “I mean, who even gives essays in math!”

“Honestly, it’s better than actual math work.” Ochako counters.

You stare up at the ceiling. If they’re calling for you, you don’t hear it. Eventually, your eyes get heavy and you start to tire out. The bag of chips are still in your lap and your head’s in Mina’s lap, but it doesn’t matter. Besides, the fastest way to get through girl’s night is sleeping through it.

[hotchley]

🐨 Welp, the kids infected me with a cold that I’m pretty sure is actually the plague. Honestly, who knows if it was even the kids. I tend to get colds in the summer when I’m doing a lot with little energy like I have been lately. It’s happened at the last three camps I’ve worked at/attended. But we’re hanging in there! Two camps this week—one is tiny and space-themed, which I’m thrilled about, and one is a giant group of almost entirely boys. They are chaos personified.

Here are some things the kids have said to me in the past week!

“Do you know when the song *sings It’s The End of The World by REM* came out? 1999!”

“I woke up early for camp!” Upon me asking what time she got up, she revealed that she woke herself and her mom up at 5am. For a 12 o’clock camp.

“I’m eight, turning ten soon!”

And my personal favorite—

“Nanny: What do you say to Miss Kate?

Child: *runs up to me, leans into my face, and burps*

Me: …I don’t think that’s what your nanny had in mind, buddy

Child: It’s exactly what I had in mind!”

Yeah, they’re insane. We’re having fun though! Mostly. Last week a kid lost a tooth, which she was thrilled about. Another girl got stung by a bee, which she was not thrilled about. Thank goodness for the first aid app on my phone.

The kids can be rowdy, but we’ve had almost more trouble with parents. One yelled at us for not having enough staff because apparently it’s illegal to have three staff for twenty-five kids for a two hour camp (it is not, in fact, illegal. Also, we work for the government. The government made the roster, not us.) An old man told me we should put a sign up because I asked him not to walk into the park building to use the bathrooms. We do, in fact, have a sign up. Another old man was hovering outside the park building for a solid hour and got mad at me for being suspicious of him. Like, sorry sir, but you’re lingering around a building full of small children, none of whom are yours. Of course I’m keeping an eye on you.

We figured out how to braid beads into our little girls’ hair at an all girls camp last week, so those moms loved us. A bunch of them watched me do it cause they wanted to learn.

So yeah, that’s life around here! My older brother’s girlfriend is visiting again on Friday, which I’m very excited for! It’s been too long since we’ve ganged up on him. And on Sunday, I leave for my karate trip! 16 hour drive, woo! Should be very fun though. Lots of cool training, and all the people from my dojo are sharing a cabin that been dubbed by my father as “the party cabin”. My dad can’t come cause of work, so I’m flying solo. Which means I can buy tons of Kraft mac and cheese when we stop at the gas station to microwave at the cabin!

Oh no... being infected with children's colds is the worst. I remember when we stopped being in bubbles and I immediately got unwell it's awful! I get colds when I cry and my eyes start hurting when I rub them so... the space-themed camp sounds great! I love chaotic children because I'm only with them for a few minutes but a whole camp... that's going to be a lot...

All of those are so random I love kids! One of the kids at the library told the lady she was speaking to that she liked Shakespeare and Jeff Kinney (she was talking about the simplified and designed for children ones but still!)

One of my kids was showing me all of their favourite poems, and another was really shy- she was adorable- so I went: Do you want to tell Daddy and I'll just sit here and listen? And then immediately cringed because normally I say: give this to your adult okay? Since different kids come with different people and etc. Luckily it was her dad but in the moment... so awkward... he called me the nice young lady though which was sweet and made me smile.

Ah yes, losing teeth in public was always an experience! I hope the girl was okay :( also what's the app? I feel like it's a useful thing to have on you (she says, despite failing her CPR training)

Oh god, it's a universal experience then? I only deal with the children but the actual library worker was saying that it's the adults who cause the most problems... although 25 kids to 3 adults sounds so overwhelming! I remember when I was in primary school- so up to 11, it was 1 adult to every 5-6 children! Yes, that man does sound a bit suspicious... AHH when they don't read!! We have a sign telling parents where to go- it can be missed- and a lot are so apologetic when they miss it, but a few are just like: oh. And it's like: we're making YOUR life easier...

Awww, that's so sweet, I'm glad it happened!

Yess for the alliance, it's my favourite thing! Oooh karate trip! That sounds like so much fun! I'm very excited for you and you'll need to tell me everything that happens <3

[popculturebuffet]

Goof Week: Goofy Birthday Shortstacular!

Hyuck all you happy people! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOOFY! The celebration already got on track today with a look at the two part goof troop pilot. You can find that here.  

That review kicked off GOOF WEEK my weeklong look at all things Goofy, but as is tradition on this blog the birthday of one of the big three wouldn’t’t be complete without a look at their theatrical shorts career. And with this one i’ve covered all three of Disney’s biggest stars having covered Donald last june (and will again next month) and Mickey in September so it’s long overdue that my boy gets a shot and even longer overdue I watched some of his classic shorts. 

A large part of why I started doing these is because I love classic theatrical shorts and the reason I love looking at the Disney ones is, unlike Looney Toons or Tom and Jerry, I didn’t grow up with these and Disney never replayed them. At most you’d get one or a small slice of one in a House of Mouse episode. So this is a fun way to dive right into history and see a piece of Disney I’ve only started scratching the surface of. 

This is a fun one too. I ended bumping this up to 12 shorts again, and i’m glad as it allowed me to take a look at some of the weirder stuff and we go all over the place: We have dancing, goofy begging for a smoke, goofy devlopnig a split personality that calls him fat a bunch, a prototypical max who is a LOT, trips to medevil times and cowboy times, a tex avery esque noir short, and the lead in short to National treasure. If any of that sounds like a real good time to you, then keep reading under the cut!

Mickey’s Revue (1933)

Goofy was created by his VA Pinto Colvig, who based the character on the local happy go lucky moron from his home town, and after a dicussion with Walt it was decided to roll him into Mickey’s growing supporting cast. 

My guess from here is they decided to do a dry run to make sure the character worked with audeinces before giving him a full time roll. Given Goofy’s been both a staple of Mickey’s supporting cast and often more popular than the mouse or even the duck, you can see how that went. 

Colvig was awesome. While Bill Farmer is my preferred Goofy, I still tip my hat to the original and it’s clear this was a character he was born t play and it shows: a lot of characters take a short or too to really find their personality. Goofy.. has his early shorts persona straight out of the box> The only weird thing is he’s an ol dman here.. but otherwise his schick here, loudly eating peanuts, laughing a bit too loud and annoying everyone around him with no genuine malice.. that’s Goofy and Pinto really hit onto something and as we’ll see today had a TON of range beyond this. 

As for the rest of the short.. it’s forgetable. It’s not BAD, but it’s just Mickey and friends capering on stage. Nothing really out of the oridnary for these early Mickey Shorts, especially since some of them could get really damn creative.

The Whoopee Party (1933)

Now we have Goofy’s first proper appearance, going from joke character in the crowd to full member of Mickey’s friend group. 

This one is also just okay, but better than the last: Mickey and friends throw a wild party, with Mickey, Goofy and Horace making the sammiches. Goofy dosen’t do much btu gets a good gag or two, and overall it’s alright. Enjoyabl efor it’s lively animation and not much else. 

Goofy and Wilbur (1936) Three years later we get Goofy’s proper debut, a cute short about him using his Cricket friend to fish. That’s not the exestitnal nightmare that it sounds like mind you as Wilbur simply tricks them into Goofy’s net an donly gets eaten when they catch on and Goofy runs to his aid. The short really is more about Wilbur but it’s fair: like with Donald , who was paired with Pluto in his first solo short, they wanted to test the waters before having Goofy carry a cartoon himself. As we’ll see he very well could, but it’s fair to want ot backdor pilot it first and it’s easily one of the best shorts of today’s batch.

How to Play Baseball (1937)

First off while they make a good effort I already know how ot play baseball short...

How To Play Baseball is my faviorite of the Goofy Shorts on Disney Plus, which is a VERY small batch. Especailly since most of Today’s shorts aren’t at all problematic or inapproriate for kids. This one is a gem though. It’s one of the How To Shorts where a narrator goes ove rgoofy trying and failing at an activity though this one’s a tad diffrent. 

 The How To Narrator teaches us about baseball before narrating the world series game. It’s full of cleve slapstick, high speed animation and plain fun. It’s also part of the trend that would dominate Goofy’s sports career of putting him in whatever roll the shorts needed. Here he’s everyone at once, others he’s his old goofy self, other time sh’es just a normal joe. But Colvig does every version amazingly, so it all meshes and that general goofy design is so appealing it just WORKS.  So yeah while i’m not into sports I do genuinely love the How To shorts, as they were my faviorite part of House of Mouse and still are, and the originals are every bit as classic as their reputation says they are. 

A Knight For A Day (1946)

This one is the only other one of these on Disney Plus and it’s decent enough. Nothing incredibble or extra specail: Goofy plays a Squire who has to fil lin for his Knight in a tournament and tries to win a princesses hand against another douchier goofy. Simple stuff iwth some fun gags, but it just dosen’t feel all that fresh, especially since Disney already did a much better shorts with knights with Mickey’s “Ye Olden Days”. It just dosen’t feel as fun or creative as that one was btu on it’s own it’s fine. Nothing great, nothing terrible, just fine. First short of the day to feature Goofy’s faceless blonde love interest who in domestic shorts is his wife and by the same extension Max’s now dead mother. 

Tomorrow We Diet (1951)

We’ve got three from 1951 here. By this point Goofy had traditioned from lovable bumbler to every man, taking on a more generalized personality to fit into every day slice of life scenarios, using those to brilliantly contrast the goofy animated comedy with the more mundane setting it comes from. And sometimes it’s just straight up sticom humor with the ocasoinal joke you could only do in a cartoon.  And sometimes.. you get a version of Goofy who lives in a mirror taunting Goofy over being fat and then trying to keep him on his diet while it’s not clear if thi sis a split personality, a mirror ghost tormenting him that took his form and is doing this so Goofy breaks the mirror and frees him, or his evil doppleganger from another universe. 

Yeah .. one of the centerpieces of this short is Goofy’s reflection/split personality/earth 3 doppleganger/some sort of evil genie taunt shim abotu the fact he’s putting on weight startnig by saying “Hey Fat”... because apparently in this unvierse the best weight joke they can come up with is literally just calling someone fat. I bet I know who rules THIS timeline with an iron fist....

The first half of this short is Goofy being told he’s fat by a bunch of people and the second half is his hallucination/psychotic break/guardian asshole tormenting him with the diet. And I do mean tormenting: He knocks away all of Goofy’s food, then suggests he not even eat his carrot and STARVE himself, which is just deeply unhealthy, and earlier forces Goofy to let him read his book and then tell shim to just diet anyway. Which granted dieting IS sensible.

So yeah this short as you can probably guess by the fact it involves the term “Hey Fat” which was only said by a human being once.. Dick Kinney or Mick Shaffer, the writers of ths short,  when one pitched the line to the other and they laughed for some reason and put it in the script. But with that you can wager this short is REALLY outdated> Overating CAN be a problem and fat shaming still exists, but it’s far less tolerated and far less of a thing.

And hell I can tolerate a good natured weight joke, the Critic had some great ones, especially as a fat guy myself... but this isn’t good natured. The entire joke is, as the man said above HE’S FAT.. So as a legit short. it’s deeply unfunny at best, horribly insulting at worst. But as a so bad it’s good short? it’s GOLD. From the whole mirror goofy thing, to the fact fat is seen as a legit insult here or something to just call fat people because that’s what the writers thoguht humans, even in the 50′s talked like it’s just riffably cruel.. though it will obviously depend onthe viewers tolerance for both fat jokes and how creepy the short can be and again as a short it sucks. As something to be mocked for fun.. it’s fat with potential

Father’s Are People (1951)

Hey Kids you wanna see Max and Goofy reenact Problem Child? 

Given I did Goof Troop earlier this week and i’m finishing this week with A Goofy Movie, it shouldn’t come as a huge shocker that I wanted to cover the first short with Goofy’s son Juinor, who’d later be remolded into Max. 

The short STARTS promising with Goofy having a kid and the hyjinks that comes from having a baby child: Goofy passes out Cigars because Lung Cancer was the preferred way of celebrating having a child in the 50′s, runs himself ragid helping out, which I give the short credit for as “Donald’s Diary” three years later would play a man helping a woman around the house for horror. Here George (Goofy would often go by George Geef in later shorts) pitches in and while he’s clearly exausted he is trying to help with the boy. 

It takes a turn though once we jump ahead to a toddler Junior. Seriously a red head named junior... there’s no way that’s a coincidence. Anyways, the problem is unlike problem child, where Junor dosen’t really go after his dad but the assholes around his pushover dad who genuinely deserve it, this Junior goes after Goofy who at wors tis mildly negelectful but clearly loves his boy> He also DOES try to take a brus hto the kid... but it’s hard to be too mad about that as it was acceptable at the time and he dosen’t actually paddle a three year old. It’s like a less horrfying version of donald puttin ga penguin to a shotguns face in that the targeted party dosen’t see the threat and that goofy isn’t some form of sociopath in this short like Donald was there. It’s just not very funny and only worth watching at all for the historical value. 

No Smoking! (1951) (Patreon Selection by WeirdKev27)

This is my first of two Patreon selections, my patreon is here if you want to chip in a buck to pick a short for Donald’s birthday next month, by longtime friend and backer of the blog Kev. He suggested this one for the sheer absurdity of Goofy smooking.. and was right on the money> This one is DELGITHFUL. 

It works on two levels: it works on the modern level of seeing such an iconic cartoon grapple with trying to quit smoking, first smoknig so constantly a giant cloud appears over him and he has about 80 cigs in his mouth at once, but then trying to quit and being surrounded bycigs before finally DESPERATELY begging for one. As I discovered you really HAVEN’T lived till you’ve heard goofy madly call out “Smoke, smoke gotta have a smoke”. 

But while the novelty IS great.. it’s also just a good cartoon. Outside of some blatant racisim at the start, with a native american sterotype introducing smoking to colmbus which feels so wrong to type I need a shower and really puts a damper on the short which after that.. is just really funny. From the smoking through the ages, to the very creative smoking gags it’s just fun.. and it is CLEARLY anti-smoking, showing both the insane amount of cigrte smoker can go through and how mad the addiction can drive you. It’s not bad... though if you can’t stomach the blatant and terrible racisim.. I get that and it’s fair. 

Two Gun Goofy (1952)

This is one of two “put Goofy in another setting all together” pieces, both in the same year which tells me they were trying to find new stuff to do for Goofy. Thi sisn’t unheard of in cartoons: Around the same time and before Bugs Bunny went all over the world and thorugh time and space, and Mickey went through the looking glass and had two fantasy shorts, so i’ts not unusual

But what IS neat about these next two shorts is they combined the two goofys: he has his goofy demanor and oblivoiusness from the classic shorts, but still has his deeper, slightly less goofy voice from the everyman shorts and is still treated as an average joe, just one now undertaking genre careers, here a cowboy and next a detective

This short is decent. I’m a sucker for cowboy episodes apparently: either old west style showdowns or having the characters go to a dude ranch or something. So naturally I picked this one and was told Max was in it an dhe is... in a two second cameo when Goofy has a thought bubble after meeting faceless lady.

But this is a really enjoyable picture. not Disne’y sbest but good stuff. It also pairs Goofy with pete which really is a perfect pairing, putting our scowling rotund villian against our skinny well meaning hero. And while i’ts a common gag in a lto of things I do love Goofy accidently beating the shit out of pete as the short finds fun ways to do it. All in all worth a watch. 

How to Be a Detective (1952)

This one was a REALLY fun one. Like with westerns i’m a sucker for a good noir parody, even if ironically I haven’t watched much of either genre proper. Add in the fact this is clearly inspiried by Tex Avery’s work and i’m sold on this fun madcap romp with an approraitely more noirsh narrator. 

Goofy is naturally a detective and hired by the faceless woman to find “Al” having to contend with both a goon he keeps failing to recognize and The Chief of Police, played by Pete, who keeps telling him “I told ya to stay off the case Goof!”. It’s just the delivery makes it funny any time he says it as does his instance... and the punchline, which I won’t spoil to both that an dthe overaching mystery i sa gem. This one’s on youtube, seek it out, it’s damn fun. Before I go thoguh I also love how Goofy is Given “Goof Balls”. Yes GOOFY GETS DRUGGED and I am here for it

Father’s Day Out (1953)

I couldn’t find any GIF’s for this one, not even one’s in teh same tag that were unrelated so here, have more smoking Goofy. It will never not be funny.

This one is ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhtastic. Goofy is overworked, wnats to rest on his weeknd, and stuff gets in the way. Oh and halfway through he abrubtly has to take Max to the beach. It’s.. not much honestly. It’s like the simpsons if it wasn’t funny. 

How To Hook Up Your Home Theater (2007) (Emma Fici Patreon Selection)

You may notice the MASSIVE time jump here. That’s because while Disney still does theatrical shorts nowadays, in part because Pixar’s shorts turned out to be a huge hit, they almost never use the classic cast. This delightful anamoly is one of the few exceptions and was picked by Emma out of sheer curosity. And she picked well this short is fun, feelnig like a big budget version of the House of Mouse How To Shorts I loved so an dhaving a modern yet still ultimatley timeless subject: while the tech featured is missin ga streaming box and 4k, otherwise it really has aged incredibly well and getting all the diffrent modes set up and what not is a hassel we al lcan agree with. 

It’s a fun short with lots of good gags and humor as Goofy tries to set up his Home Theater before the big game, and worth a watch. Weirdly not on Disney+ though try explaining that one. 

One final note is for whatever reason this was paired up with National Treasure: Book of Secrets. 

My BEST GUESS i sthat it appeals to the kinds of dads who’d watch National Traesure: Book of Secrets as well as kids since it’s an adventure film. Though it now makes me want to see Nicholas Cage voice goofy. Get on it Disney. Not forever though, Bill’s a treasure. Just for a gag like Don Cheadle vocing Donald.. oh god put them together.. and then have them do a movie together I don’t think they have and do not know why. 

Final Ranking: As a bit of added fun to close this out and as a new feature for these i’m ranking today’s shorts from best to worst How To Be A Detective How To Play Baseball No Smoking Goofy and WIlbur How To Hook Up Your Home Theater Two Gun Goofy The Whoopee Party Mickey’s Revue Tommorow We Diet A Knight for A Day Father’s Are People Father’s Weekend

For the record despite not being a GOOD short Tommorow we diet is at least intresting, hence i’ts ranknig while Father’s weekend is just a boring 50′s version of problem child. Fathers are People at least has some good gags to set it off. 

So thank you for reading and if you liked this review give it a like and consider joining my patreon at patreon.com/popculturebuffet. As a patron you’d get access to exclusive reviews, the patreon’s discord and to pick a short each time I do one of these shortstaculars. Donald’s comnig next month and the deadline is in only a few days to join up for said month so the clock is ticking. Even a dollar a month helps me reach my stretch goals so please i fyou can sign up today and if not, I understand and i’ll see you at the next rainbow

[enjennie]

Chapter 3 - Eye On You

Chapter 2 

Chapter 4 - Coming soon

Word count: 1.9k

The Lee Estate wasn’t big. No, big wasn’t the word for it. Massive, would be more suitable. Enormous. As Jeno pulled up in front of the mansion, Yuri gawked at the size of the place.

They pile out of the car and are greeted by a ton of looks, which immediately made Yuri conscious of what she was wearing. She tugged on the ends of the dress and her legs wobbled a bit. Maybe because of the eyes that followed her every move, or because of the cold wind. She followed the rest of her friends into the house and was even more amazed by the inside. Glamorous interior design with a chandelier that hung above them, Yuri took a good look before getting pulled by Minjae for drinks.

“Bottoms up, newbie. Cheers,” Minjae clinks her glass against the one she’d given Yuri before downing hers in one go, which Yuri watched her do in amazement. She took a tiny sip, making Minjae laugh when her face crumples up in disgust.

“We should look for the others,” Minjae’s eyes flew over the crowd and across the room to see where Seoyun and the rest had gone. The two flee hand in hand as to not get separated in the sea of people dancing in the living room and soon made it to the outside patio where Yuri spots Jaemin, in a black leather jacket, beside Hyuck, who gave her a bright smile. “Hey, Yuri!” Hyuck yells.

 “How are you liking Oakwood so far?” Jeno asked, calling the attention of Yuri who’d finally finished her glass and had set it down on the table, only to be given another by Cho who joined the party late after having to force Mark to come along.

Yuri could only shrug, “Fun? Like a normal college, I guess,” she laughed, earning the interest of the group with her answer. “That’s new. Oakwood’s everything but normal,” Jaemin spoke up which surprised the group even more. Her eyes avert to the boy, who already had his eyes trained on her. “I guess it’s too early for me to judge, it’s only the first week after all,”

And for the first time since he arrived, Jaemin smiled, and it was enough to make the party a little more worth the stay for Yuri.

“Let me get this straight, you attended an all-girls school since 7th grade…and survived?” a drunken Cho was sat on the couch beside Yuri, who has been babysitting the girl for the last 30 minutes. It’s not like she minded, truth is Yuri didn’t have it in her to party anymore. Yuri nodded in response to Cho’s question and the heavily intoxicated girl gasped as if she’d just learned the recipe to the Krabby patty. She’s been babbling non-stop and Yuri was just waiting for her to pass out. Then, she could hopefully use it as an excuse to leave.

After a while, it seemed Cho had finally given in and was now resting against Yuri’s shoulder. Which surprised Yuri when she heard Cho faintly whisper, “Yuri, I think I’m going to be sick,” which immediately sent all of Yuri’s alarms ringing. She looked around her, not finding any familiar faces. But, with a stroke of luck… kind of… Jaemin was passing by, looking as unbothered as ever. Cho had started to make noises at this point and Yuri didn’t have time to think before she grabbed onto Jaemin’s jacket and tugged.

He looked surprised, but walked closer and bent down on the couch, which made Yuri flustered more than she already was. Why would he do that?!, the girl thought. “Cho needs to go to the washroom,” Yuri tells Jaemin. “Like… right now,”

He knew the code. Jaemin nodded curtly before swiftly lifting Cho in his arms and motioning for Yuri to follow him and so, she does. Through the crowded living room and up the stairs. Jaemin slipped into a room with a bathroom and placed Cho on the floor beside the toilet as if he’s done this a million times.

“Thank you,” Yuri gave Jaemin a shy smile before sitting herself down beside Cho who was now leaning over the toilet bowl throwing up. Yuri pulls her friend’s hair out of the way and gave her gentle pats on the back. “Better out than in,” she comforted.

Jaemin wasn’t enjoying the party. Neither was he feeling like drinking, or partying for that matter, he was just tired. As he’d entered Jeno’s house for the nth time, he naturally found his spot on the couch outside near the pool and stayed there, tapping away on his little phone.

“Jeno’s here!” his bestfriend appeared from the entrance of the house, and the crowd cheered. Finally, Jaemin thought. Renjun had asked Jeno for his car keys to pick up Seoyun and her friends, but Jeno wouldn’t budge, teasing the older boy that he hasn’t even passed his driver’s test yet. And so, Jeno and Renjun left, leaving Hyuck and Jaemin to hold down the fort.

Jaemin thought at least Jeno cared to the extent of going to drive himself, because of Renjun’s lack of competence in driving. But Jaemin highly doubted it was only Jeno being a good friend. He was, of course. But after Jaemin heard that Yuri would be coming along, it made more sense to him. It wasn’t a mystery, Jeno had his eyes on the new girl. But for once, it just didn’t sit right with Jaemin. Maybe it was because he was so encaptivated by Yuri the first time he saw her and basically took his breath away, or maybe it was the underlying vengeance and competition that brewed deep within him.

Jeno took his spot on the other couch, lighting up a blunt and pursing it against his lips. He exhaled, blowing out thin smoke. He looked good as he sat in the low light with his head back against the couch, Jaemin understood why girls flocked over his friend. Also why his ex girlfriend would cheat on him with his bestfriend. Jaemin felt a pang of bitterness and forced himself to look away.

“Hey, Yuri!” the boy next to him broke his train of thought as he excitedly waved at the newcomers. Minjae and Yuri stood at the entrance of the room, holding hands and drinks. They took their seat on the couch opposite of Hyuck and Jaemin, placing pillows on their laps and crossing their legs. Jaemin’s eyes lingered on Yuri, not because of how spectacular she looked, no… that much was understood, but at how uncomfortable the girl looked in the tiny dress. Jaemin’s eyes went back to Jeno who undoubtedly had his eyes locked on the girl.

The painkillers in the overhead cabinet were the last in the box, which Jaemin thought was lucky for Cho who was going to need it, for the killer hangover she was about to face tomorrow. He took the pills back up to the bedroom, where he’d left the two girls.

Yuri managed to move Cho from the bathroom to the bed and had tucked her in. Her heels long been neglected in the side of the room. Jaemin walked to the bedside table and put the painkillers down along with the cup of water. Yuri walked to the door and tilted her head, signaling Jaemin to follow and he does.

“Thank you,” she says when she closes the door behind them.

“No prob, Cho’s always the first one to black out… you were just unfortunate to be the one with her when she did,” Jaemin shrugged. Yuri laughed, “It’s not a problem… I hated it down there anyway,” she confessed. Not a second later she looks back up at Jaemin, panicking. “No offense…”

He chuckles, finding it cute how startled she looked for a second. “Well, that would make the two of us,”

Yuri cracked into a smile, finding comfort in knowing that Jaemin felt the same way and she wasn’t weird for not liking college parties. “I should get back in,” Yuri shivers, wrapping her hands around herself in an attempt to keep herself warm. He rolls his eyes and in one swift motion, Jaemin takes his jacket off and drapes it over her shoulders. Yuri froze, feeling the sudden warmth around her shoulders along with the lingering smell of mint candy with a mixture of freshly brewed coffee.

“I’ll be here. In case you need me,” he pointed at the chair sat nearby and Yuri could only nod.

“Yuri!” Cho groaned from inside the room.

“Thanks,” Yuri gave Jaemin another smile before going inside the room, with his jacket still around her. She didn’t know whether it was the jacket, or the heat rushing all over her body that made her feel warm.

Minjae had disappeared from the party, running into the woods that surrounded the mansion and near the school grounds. She ran, phone in hands as a light to guide her until she spotted the familiar black Cadillac, and the man in front of it. She threw herself on him and began to pepper kisses all over his face, neck and taking his hands to place around her. She had a good amount of alcohol at the party, and wanted him bad. Wanted him now. In any way she could.

“We’ll be seen here,” he spoke through her lips, which didn’t want to leave his for another second.

“Those brats won’t be caught in the woods at this hour,” Minjae assured, pushing him back against the car and moving closer to him. He gives in, trusting her words and lifting her up to sit on his lap.

“Let me treat you like a queen somewhere a little private,” he pulls away, whispering into her ear and biting her earlobe, earning a soft moan from her. She gets off of him and excitedly walk to the passenger door and getting in the car, oblivious of the person that lurked behind the oak tree, holding a phone with the camera recording her little love affair with the Math professor, Nakamoto Yuta.

Broken vases, empty bottles and passed out freshmen littered the Lee Estate the next day. Everyone knew better to leave before the morning, returning to the dorms like zombies hiding from the sunlight. The only people left in house, being those of the top elite.

The smell of bacon, eggs and coffee whiffed in the air as Jaemin got up to an early rise, making the breakfast for his friends. He’s just about finished setting up the table when a messy haired Yuri made her way to the same patio from last night. “Good morning,” she yawned, rubbing her eyes and pulling Jaemin’s jacket around her. He smiled at the sight, putting down the last plate on the table.

“You’re early,” he tells her. She looked around at the trashed place and her eyes widened.

“We should help clean up,” the girl innocently suggested.

Jaemin shook his head, “The clean up service comes after lunch, don’t worry,”

Yuri’s mouth forms an O shape as she gets to find out that these are indeed Oakwoods’ elite, who don’t clean up after their parties… but rather hire a service.

“But I personally like helping them a little anyway,” Jaemin begins picking up clutter that littered the floor, making Yuri laugh at his sudden change of character. Na Jaemin, the cold hearted heartthrob… has a soft spot for… cleaning?

[thesilkenlair]

(Casey Here!)

As much D&D as I play, you'd imagine I would eventually get around to illustrating some of their most iconic monsters! Which is to say, the ones that I personally find the most iconic. Which is to say, the ones I memorized when I was reading my dad's monster manual at age nine. Purple worm - Sandworms never go out of style. I've seen a lot of rad designs for this bugger over the editions, but I favor the slightly less reptilian older takes for this particular critter. It's kinda basic, but sometimes that's what you want. It's like a shark or a crocodile: Just flat out unchanged across the ages. Hook horror - I've heard it rumored that Gygax used a small Gigan figure to represent this monster. I can't verify that, but it definitely sounds right. Hook horrors are one of the very first things you meet when you play around in the caves, and they kind of remind me of the Father Deep monsters of the Hork Bajir homeworld that way. Mind flayer - Mind flayers! Basically, take all of your Dracula conventions and dip them in a fresh coat of Lovecraft. There's that old "decadent aristocratic upper caste system who literally eats the poor, but still somehow comes across as less evil than the actual real life 1%" setup that will never stop being relevant. Though personally, I see mind flayers as the first alternative for folks who want to play that monster-who-feels-the-urge-to-eat-their-friends-but-refuses-to-do-it shtick but don't want to deal with vampire baggage. You know, the furry option! ... Slimy? Rubbery? Do we have a word for anthro-cephalopods? I'm only a casual furry. Gelatinous cube - I'm not apologizing for giving this one a slot. Froghemoth - So, back when I participated in my very first long-term campaign, I played a druid. You've met Talia before. Naturally, I was chomping at the bit for the day I finally got to turn her into a froghemoth, and celebrated the day my wish was finally granted and she was allowed to chug human-supremacist-cultists like popcorn. Yeah, okay, the froghemoth is one of the classic vore-monsters. But it's a charming design in its own right. Kind of a freaky Hanna Barbara critter, like you'd see Space Ghost fighting. No matter how many artists draw it, they can never shake that inherent goofiness that third edition tried so hard to purge. I would probably cram them somewhere onto Fronterra if I was sure they were public domain. As is, I'm 99% certain that this is what Visser Three turned into when he ate Elfangor. Tarrasque - D&D's original kaiju! Kind of just takes the name and nothing else when it comes to its mythological origins, but I don't mind. The Tarrasque is that endgame "let's test the players" final boss monster... Or at least it's supposed to be. My DM reskinned it for our final Pathfinder session, and one of the PCs still nearly killed it in a single turn. Also, he let Talia turn into one, so maybe Pathfinder is just bullshit? Regardless, the Tarrasque has one of those simple, iconic designs. I've heard rumors it was based on the concept art for Fallout's deathclaws, and like the Gigan-figure, I can't verify this in any way. With its reptilian features, twin horns, spiny carapace and grabby fingies, it has an undeniable lizardlike quality that I can't help but find charming. Kinda feels like a more refined version of Zilla? Though for an insatiable eating machine, I notice a lot of artists give it very little belly to work with. Come on, this guy eats entire cities! Give him somewhere to put it! Rust monster - An icon of icons, the rust monster! Drawing its origin from a bizarre Chinese "dinosaur" toy, later designs have made it more insectoid in appearance, but never feeling QUITE like anything Earthly. It's the four limbs. Between the four limbs and the tail, it's hard to tell if it's an arthropod mimicking a vertebrate or the other way around. I'm pretty sure this is part of what inspired my ossaderm creatures for Fronterra. Also, Ryla can turn into one in our campaign. I have no shortage of havoc to wreak when the opportunity comes. Behir - Dragons in D&D are kind of... extra. Godlike beings, paragons of whatever personality trait they represent. Whenever there's something uber powerful in D&D, it gets compared to dragons. It makes them kind of unapproachable. Behirs provide all the essentials of a dragon - Serpentine body, scaly skin, horns, sapience, breath weapon, taste for human flesh - wrapped up in a smaller, weirder, IMO cooler package. You know, your Lambton Worms. A lot easier to port in and out of adventures, a lot less of an event when they show up, but still a formidable force in their own right. I like the behir. The behir knows how to taunt me just the right amount. Bulette - Another Chinese "dinosaur" figure monster, the bulette is actually another one I associate with Talia. Whenever we faced a problem that didn't have a glaringly and immediately obvious solution, she would turn into a bulette, whether it was for beating up robots, digging through obstacles, trampling smurfs, navigating labyrinths, distracting slashers with cute dog tricks... it was kind of her signature form. But shenanigans aside, the bulette is just an excellent monster. While the "land shark" shtick may be common, there's a lot more going on with the bulette's design. It's rumored to be a mad wizard's creation, as he combined a snapping turtle with an armadillo and mixed in a helping of demon blood to taste. Personally, I always considered that to be a neat little rumor to flesh out the world, but never assumed it to be true. The bulette just feels too naturalistic for that. Like some kind of protomammal or crocodylomorph, or weird triassic monstrosity. Magic and demons and dragons and so on DO affect the ecosystem. I always figured the bulette was just something that evolved to compete in this new biosphere. Owlbear - This one, on the other hand, I fully believe the "mad wizard was bored" explanation. Another chinasaur critter, the owlbear is frequently made fun of. What makes it scarier than a regular bear? It can't fly, so why have owl parts at all? Why trade fangs for a beak in what is at best a latural move? Well, first of all, fuck you, owls are creepy motherfuckers, and that alone is enough to justify it. But secondly, that's part of its charm. Besides some improved vision, the owl DOESN'T make it more dangerous. What makes the owlbear dangerous is that it's an insane, Frankensteinian monstrosity roaming uncontrolled through the wilderness! It doesn't need weaponry, its sheer temperament is enough to make it a worthy opponent. Sure, the practical threat might not be hugely above that of a bear, but storytelling isn't about numbers. Any asshole can go outside and get eaten by a bear. The owlbear is part of this world. The owlbear is a reminder of what magic can do. Someone somewhere actually made this thing, for whatever reason, and now the world is irrevocably changed because of it. Owlbears go beyond practicality. They bring the lore! Also, bears don't have very good eyesight, so the big owl eyes probably make them better hunters. Flumph - Is that a Japanese-style martian? Do we just have aliens in D&D? Dear lord, I love them! Okay, the flumph has got a sizable hatedom. And that hatedom can eat my ass, because the flumph is precious and perfect just the way it is! Flumphs are designed as a sort of sidekick-type creature. They're not very good fighters, but they bring knowledge and lore to the table. Whether they're aliens from some far off star, seeking your aid to prevent catastrophe, or psionic natives of the Underdark eager to bask in your positivity and hopefully stick it to the tyrants they're forced to share real estate with. My group generally treats them as straight up aliens, benevolent but strange. Course, we're all pretty strange, so we get along just fine. Otyugh - Okay so, the aberration creature type implies that this is something from another world that doesn't belong. And yet otyughs, which are aberrations, are an essential part of this world's ecosystem? Okay, I can buy the idea that an alien organism adapted to our world and is now a key part of it. Fronterra's got a TON of that. It just feels like after a point, the otyugh would be considered a beast? Otyughs are great. Every ecosystem needs a decomposer, and every fantasy story needs at least one dive into the sewers. Otyughs provide both, and are intelligent enough to keep the plot moving if it hits a snag. There's always going to be garbage, refuse, carrion, decay, things that need to be broken down and processed. Carrion crawler - The carrion crawler is pretty similar to the otyugh in that it's technically not considered a beast, and therefor must have its origins elsewhere, but feels so integrated into the ecosystem that it just feels like it belongs. They usually can't talk, so they're not just reskinned otyughs, but I still consider them pretty essential. Otyughs find a singular spot where waste is dumped and shovel it down at their leisure, while carrion crawlers skulk through the tunnels, actively seeking their food. The crawler got one of the most radical redesigns on the transition from second to third edition, but I can't really choose a single favorite. The oldschool tentacle-faced cutworm looks like it could be a real animal, while the googly-eyed Halloween decoration feels like it could be from another world, merely having set up shop here. Could there name apply to two wholly different creatures? If so, then I'm not sure which one mine would be considered. I kinda mashed them together into something that doesn't quite feel like either. But I like it for what it is. Maybe I'll sneak it onto Fronterra. Aboleth - Tentacled, telepathic sea creatures who turn humans into slimy minions, who remember everything their race has ever seen, and who are always plotting something behind the scenes. Yeah, the aboleths really crank up the Lovecraft elements. Actually, between the mind flayers, the flumphs and the aboleths, even the most oldschool D&D covered quite a few essential Lovecraftian bases. The flayers are your corrupt yet still recognizable humanoids who can be considered truly evil, the flumphs are benevolent-yet-bizarre guardians who know more than you, and the aboleths are the truly unknowable, sinister intellects. The fact that they can barely function on land honestly only adds to that, IMO. They're inherently difficult for a party to reach, and they offer some nice underwater adventure seeds. Not enough adventures go underwater. There's this perception that the ocean is bad for storytelling because so many writers lack the creativity to make it work. I wanna run an underwater adventure now. Beholder - Icon of icons! THE D&D monster! The beholder! Paranoid, jumpy, always five steps ahead and twenty steps perpendicular! Beholds are fun in just about every way. Between their wacky, diverse designs, their elaborate lairs, their eccentric personalities, their bizarre powers, you're never gonna run out of fun with beholders. Remorhaz - It's always been a thing that bothered me with environment-based monsters. Why does the ice monster who lives in the cold use ice as a weapon? Aren't most of the things it encounters going to be resistant to the cold? Sure, a cone of cold will still kill a polar bear, but a lot of the monsters in the tundra are outright immune to cold. A while dragon's not going to get much use out of its breath weapon fighting frost worms and frost giants. That's one reason the remorhaz sticks out to be. We have an icy tundra beast whose insides are a scorching furnace, which it can intensify and weaponize as it sees fit. Which also conveniently explains why its design - a sort of cobra-esque centipede - invokes warm-weather creatures, despite its icy environment. It's a nice subversion of the usual tropes, plus it's just a memorable, cool looking critter to begin with. On a smaller note, the remorhaz feels like a good loophole for Ryla's "no cold weather morphs" rule. Turning into something elementally affiliated with ice is no good, but a non-magical monster that survives the cold by superheating its insides? That seems perfectly viable to me!

[lunar-lair]

Bakusquad Headcanons

Uhhhh idk how but I ended up with a ton of headcanons for these dork kids, so uh. Here I guess??

After Bakugou really settles into the group and begins to let them actually physically touch him, Ashido's hand is basically constantly buried in his hair, especially when she's comforting him. Of course, she does this with all the others too, and has been doing it with Kirishima since their middle school days, but she's always saying Bakugou's is the fluffiest. ("It's just cause I use the best conditioner," He'd always huff.)

Kaminari has this habit with all of them. He'll put his pointer finger on some part of their body-usually their cheek, since that makes them laugh more for it's cuteness-and let a small, sm all static shock run through their skin. It never fails to make them laugh, and along with his jokes, he's one of the best at cheering people up in the team.

Whenever they're all cuddling, and one of them is cold, they snuggle up with Bakugou, and he'll heat up his hands like he does before he blows something up. But it's just really nice and warm. Not a bad warm either. Plus, he just runs warm anyways. (So does Kaminari-he's got electricity running around in his veins, they're gonna be warm-and Sero's not bad himself, but they don't have that advantage. (On the contrary, Kiri runs pretty cold, and Bakugou calls Mina 'barbie' just because she's basically freezing all the time.))

Any time Bakugou gets the chance, he'll just idly braid anyone's hair that's long enough to braid; aka, everyone except him and Mina. It's just really relaxing for him.

They all have these special hoodies, shirts, whatever, that they wear when they're real unhappy or just feeling really cozy comfy warm and shit and it's real easy to tell which one it is, so they just adjust the way they treat that person to accommodate

They all brought a bean bag a bit into the year that was their favorite color and they're all just piled in Sero's room cause he has the most room.

After realizing saying 'we need to talk' is a bit daunting, the squad made a little code phrase for when it's Serious Talk Time, whether that means later or now, and it's "I've got a story to tell". They decided on it pretty early on, but late enough that Bakugou was willing to participate in said talks in the first place, obviously.

They always have excellent nail polish, make up, whatever. Mina's pretty good at it, and Bakugou had fashion designers for parents. He wasn't getting out of his childhood without some Knowledge. Anyways, they're always perfectly presentable. It's great.

The whole squad is constantly secretly trying to destroy all of Kiri's crocs. Shh, don't tell.

Bakugou is entirely infuriated with Kaminari and Mina's hair, 24/7. Kaminari's won't settle down from it's staticyness for more then two seconds, and Mina's is just fucking untameable. He doesn't like Sero's much, since it's not long enough to do as much as he can with Kaminari's, and it's th ick, bitch. Kiri's is the most agreeable when it's down.

At some point, they bought a giant teddy bear. They only bring it out when someone is in severe emotional destress. It is The Happiness Bear. It has a few rips and burns and torn off fur, from Kiri, Kami Baku and Mina, and Sero respectively.

None of them agree on music choice. Mina likes bubblegum pop, Kiri's about more somber stuff, Sero listens to indie, Bakugou listens to rock, metal, and pop-punk-that scene-and Kaminari just listens to whatever he comes across. He had some really obscure music on his playlist, some emo, and even some shit like Beyonce and Taylor Swift, sittin right next to Ricky Montgomery and The Altogether. He's the most agreeable when it comes to listening with others, but theirs is always a bit...too much for him, since he's in the middle. Think of him as the circle and everyone else laying just outside the circle. The circle can't really expand, but the points aren't as broad. He's gets along best with Kiri and Sero, since he had plenty of chill music on his list, and some real obscure indie-ish shit somewhere. Bakugou likes some of the darker stuff he's run across, like Autoheart. He used to be REAL into All Time Low, but burnt himself out on their music. He knows every song, and every lyric; he doesn't hate it. It's just not his first pick. And then he's still got some shit like Owl City and Fun lurking around somewhere, and that's the shit Mina likes. Basically, he gets the most band recommendations, and gives the most.

Bakugou gets REALLY into Autoheart and Lincoln, shit like that as he gets older and mellows out-kinda like mid 2nd to 3rd year and on?-since it's still that kind of depressing feel but it's a lot more lowkey.

Kiri gets DE EP into The Altogether and Ricky Montgomery, and maybe Cavetown and The Oh Hellos, Sleeping At Last, Alec Benjamin...all those almost-sleepy singers, who sing about both sad and happy shit with the same calm tone.

Kaminari gets just,,,,SO into The Wrecks for like,,,,a month, with their party music vibe that's almost All Time Low but with more energy this time.

Mina's always been a Beyonce and Owl City stan, man.

Sero doesn't mind Owl City, either, though; got that kinda tone to it, yknow? Absolutely into Fun.

Skskdkdk sorry I got into a BIG tangent,,,,I just know so many obscure bands that they'd like man

Also I hella projected onto Kaminari bc I feel like he's that dork to be into a song called "Favorite Liar', another called 'Mediocre At Best', one called 'Agrophobia', and ANOTHER called fucking 'Light'.

Also he's definitely into Mother Mother. That's a must. Sero might be too.

Might make,,,,,a separate post abt that

Kami and Sero rlly like fall

Mina's a winter gal

Kiri's all for summer

And Baku's all bout spring

They have had multiple discussions about scars for no reason other than to discuss something.

Kami is ALWAYS letting off a static shock of SOME KIND and he shocks the first person he touches when he wakes up. Once he did this to Jirou and it partly fried her buds for a while, it blew Bakugou up because he had just walked in from his jog, it conducted with some of Mina's acid and fucked her over, etc etc. So Kirishima is always sent to wake Kaminari up, and all of them have rubber gloves on hand early morning just in case he wakes up before Kiri can be the first to touch him and he groggily tries to touch anyone

Bakugou's room smells like caramel due to nitroglycerin smelling like it 24/7, and it's calming as hell, so that's where they go when they need a good calming cuddle pile

They always do a group hug before and after dangerous missions

...just in case.

They go to the park at least once a month bc why tf not? And they always hog all the swing sets. Bakugou usually goes on a jog.

One of Kaminari's favorite ways to fuck with them is to let his hands hum with just a small bit of static and then POOF up their hair

It's always hilarious

Especially on Bakugou, since it just makes it kinda,,,,poof mo re??? It's hilarious trust me-

If Sero could make a conductive kind of tape, him and Kami could totally have a type of electroweb attack. Or maybe if Mina's acid could conduct well enough she could like spread all over the ground and it would work as a way to direct his electricity his pointers may not help with. Like zeroing in his electricity in little spots under villian's feet and giving Kami good control in the ground too and it could cause less damage! Plus maybe if he lost his pointer or smth she could put it on the villian and then they would get electricity right to the skin? Idk something like that

Hm...his combos with Baku are limited. It's possible he could like coat his hands with his sweat and then Kami could blow it up himself if his quirk is out of commission? Or his arms; we know they get recoil in canon. But maybe he could soak something in the nitroglycerin using the grenades-just open em i guess?-and then set it ablaze?? It'd have to be a PRETTY special case tbh

If civilians could possibly be harmed Kiri could act as a lighting rod,,,,using a lightning rod attacked to his head?? Or some super conductive clothing or something. Idk.

Everybody knows you could bathe Kiri in the sweat and then he'd ignite it no prob

Sero could swing one of them (or multiple) and then 'oh shit a flying bomb/rock/acidic substance/electricity plants comin ur way' i guess

Idk. I swore to God Baku was my fav but I'm bein real biased towards Kami. Sigh...oh well. I'll work on it later. It's late.

[shadowron]

The Manual of Practical Thaumaturgy, 14th Edition, 2050. Part 1: Introduction

Ok. I’ve put it off long enough. Time to talk about The Manual of Practical Thaumaturgy, 14th Edition, 2050. 

Street name: The Grimoire (for 1st Edition)

Street Samurai got their Catalog, Riggers got their Black Book, Deckers got the finest piece of in-game fiction EVAR in Virtual Realities (oh, and some rules for decks too), and drek, even the Rockers got Shadowbeat.

This is the Big Book of YAY for magicians. Two reasons why I’ve put it off so long.

Reason #1: I always played the decker. Or the rigger. Occasionally a sammie. While I’ve played numerous magic-users and clerics in You Know What, and despite really really liking the Shadowrun magic system, I’ve never had the chance to play a Shadowrun magician for more than about a session. It wasn’t until years later that I finally broke down and bought a copy of The Grimoire.

Reason #2: The Grimoire introduces a LOT of new rules. The slabs of game crunch that Shadowrun is known for got its start here.

Some of these were needed fixes to the core rules (like upping the pricing on Power Foci, closing the Instant Death Spell loophole, and reworking Astral Space combat) and fleshing out the spell list a bit. All the early sourcebooks did this:

SSC introduced Firepower™ ammo which made heavy pistols worth wielding, made armor cheaper, and added a bunch of new weapons.

RBB introduced Burst Fire rules (you young ones probably don’t even know that Shadowrun started out without rules for bursts which meant a separate Firearms roll for EVERY SINGLE BULLET FIRED and we LIKED IT!), several tons of new vehicles and rules for modifying them.

Pictured: Me, a Shadowrun Grognard

VR clarified some decking rules (like linking maximum Active Memory to the deck MPCP), gave us the Auto Execute program (you young ones probably don’t even know that Shadowrun started out with rules saying that you had to make TWO dice rolls to run a program in a node – one to execute the program, and another to determine its effect, and we LIKED IT!), and a bunch more programs.

Shadowbeat gave us, uh, the rules for baseball in 2050.

Because this is what the core game was missing, honestly. Rules for the SmartBall link.

The Grimoire, by contrast, is a FIREHOSE of new rules, with:

Adepts – specialized magicians, including Shadowrun’s answer to the Jedi: the Physical Adept (PhysAd)

Initiation – literally a way for your magician to Level Up.

Metamagic – the rewards for Leveling Up.

Geasa – the punishment for lowering your Magic attribute (Awwww NERPS! Burned-Out Mage you in trouble!!!)

*gulp*

Magical Groups – frats for magicians.

Enchanting – well, someone needs to make all the Spell Locks you’re draping on your chummers.

Spell Design – Now you can finally create that Turn To Sloppy Soy spell you’ve always wanted.

Astral Space – including Metaplanes (places you can go once you Level Up)

Spirits – new beings you can boss around against their will!

Free Spirits – new beings you can’t boss around against their will!

Magical Threats – namely, Toxic Shamans and Insect Spirits, the latter which have been hinted at for too long.

This was on the only GIF I could find on Tumblr of a firehose and it is frightening.

Obviously, way too much to go into here, so let’s hit the highlights:

Physical Adepts: Once you realize their powers are just magic versions of various cyberware, sure, yeah, okay. They would be included in all future editions in the core book.

Metamagic. Specifically,

Quickening: makes spells permanent without the use of a Spell Lock

Masking: which let’s the magician disguise their aura to look like a mundo.

Watcher Spirits: because some tasks are beneath the dignity of even Force 1 elementals, and these can be summoned by both Hermetic Mages and Shamans without any materials.

And I’m not done! I’ll be back to make fun of new totems and new spells in later posts.

[today-we-will-survive]

Power Outage

BTS au one-shot

Hoseok x Reader Y/N

Fluff

Word Count: 2,711

A/N: I’m sorry it’s a couple hours late!! I may have been watching super cheesy Christmas movies the last few days and this just seemed cozy. Hope you like it 💜

gif credit to https://gph.is/2dp98Jl

This was supposed to be a fun girls’ getaway. You didn’t expect that one of them would be spending the whole time with her boyfriend at the lodge he was staying at. You didn’t expect another to bail when, as soon as you got there, she got a call that her sister was in labor with twins and had to leave again. You didn’t expect the last to get into a huge fight with the first one about blowing them all off for her man only to call a cab back home. And you didn’t expect to be the only one left at this dinky little inn that is supposed to be quaint and rustic but seems more old and broken down than anything else. But here you are on the night of day three of your apparent solo trip (which you haven’t also bailed on because dang it if you aren’t going to have at least a partially relaxing weekend), curled up on one of the sagging couches in the sad excuse for a lobby enjoying a book when suddenly everything goes dark. Now that, you kind of did expect to happen.

You look up from your book and blink blindly. “Uh…”

A light clicks on in the corner, washing the room in a dull glow and you look over your shoulder at the front desk.

“Don’t panic,” the manager says as he opens a closet door behind the desk and uses the light to search through it.

“I wasn’t panicking,” you say with a shrug and get up. You feel your way over to the desk, reaching it just as he pulls out a box of candles. “You seem well prepared for this.”

The manager flashes a tired smile. “It happens every year.”

“Hoseok.”

The two of you turn to see an older man coming quickly down the stairs. The owner—you met him when you first arrived a few days before—looked slightly panicked but when he saw you also standing by the desk, a calm smile spread across his face. “I’m so sorry for this inconvenience, Miss…”

“Y/N,” you say. “And it’s okay. It’s storming pretty bad outside. I would have been surprised if the power didn’t go out in a place like this.”

Hoseok snaps his head around to look at you. “What do you mean, a place like this?” he asks, his eyes narrowing.

You shrug. “You know,” you say. “An older place that might not have the best electrical system in the world.”

“The electrical system is fine,” Hoseok says through gritted teeth.

“Obviously,” you retort.

The owner interrupts your argument with a clearing of his throat then turns to Hoseok again. “Did you find the emergency equipment?”

Hoseok rattles the box in his hand.

“Good. Well, I’m going to head back upstairs and see to it that the rest of the guests finds what they need as well.” Then he turns to you again. “Please let Hoseok know if there’s anything he can do to make you comfortable.”

You smile and give him a polite nod before watching the man quickly make his way back up the stairs.

“I’ll get a fire going,” Hoseok utters and carries the box over to the fireplace.

“Why didn’t you have one going already?” you ask curiously. “Isn’t that supposed to be part of the experience of like a snowy, mountain lodge?”

“Sure, it’s supposed to be—” he says and hands you his flashlight, “—could you hold this?” You oblige, shining the light on the cold, dark hearth as he starts piling newspaper and kindling into it. “But the guy that usually brings us firewood has been in the hospital for the past few days so we’re running low. No wood, no fire.”

“Seems logical enough,” you say.

You watch in silence as he piles up a few more sticks and wads of newspaper before reaching over to dig into the box for a book of matches. It takes a few attempts, but eventually a corner of one of the pieces of newspaper catches and the two of you watch as the flame slowly creeps its way up, growing bigger and brighter as it devours the kindling. When Hoseok is sure it’s not going to go out, he piles a few logs on top and stands up.

“Want to help me set up some candles around the room?” he asks.

You look back down at the box and then at the book you’d been reading that now lays open and facedown on the arm of the couch. It’s too dark to read anyway. “Sure,” you say and grab a couple of the large white candles out of the box.

You’ve had almost zero interaction with the man since arriving, other than checking in and getting the key to your room. He’s pretty much kept to himself for the most part

“So what was that little outburst earlier?” you ask as you use a match to light a candle you’ve set on a sideboard across the room from the fireplace.

You hear Hoseok let out a laugh through his nose. “What outburst? There was no outburst.”

“You just seemed to take it personally when I mentioned the shoddy electrical in this place.”

“Have you seen the storm outside?” Hoseok asks jutting his thumb toward the big front window. “I wouldn’t be surprised if power is out in the whole town.”

You take two more candles and carry them over to the window, setting them down on the console table as you look out through the glass. It’s a flurry out there. You can’t see much else in the darkness besides the swirling snowflakes. Okay, maybe it isn’t the inn’s fault that the power went out.

The whole lobby is awash in warm light now from the fire and the many candles placed around the room. The few other guests here—it’s a very small inn—have made their way down from their rooms—that are quickly growing cold since the heaters aren’t working—and now huddle around the fire to try and warm up. A few people whose cars had broken down on the icy road have wandered in too and now the room is getting warm just from the amount of bodies squeezed into it.

“So you never answered my question,” you say to Hoseok as you stand with him in the corner. The two of you have been passing out blankets and flashlights but now everyone seems to be comfortable and you have nothing else to do.

“What’s that?” he asks and leans back against the wall. His already golden skin glows a warmer hue in the light of the candles sitting beside you on the welcome desk.

“Why’d you get so protective of the inn earlier?”

A small smile creeps onto Hoseok’s face and he shoves his hands in his pockets. “My family owns the inn,” he says.

“So that guy that came down earlier is…”

“My older brother,” he says. “My dad passed it down to my brother when he and mom retired. And I’m not usually here. I’m going to school but I always come back to help out a bit around Christmas because it gets pretty busy.”

You look around the room at all the people. Most of them aren’t even staying at the inn. “This is busy?”

“The last few years haven’t been the greatest for the inn,” Hoseok says. “I’m thinking it’s because of that ski resort that opened in the next town over. It’s really nice and big…and the electrical works.”

You let out a snort.

“I grew up here,” he continues and looks around the place fondly. “My brother and I used to slide down the stairs on our bellies and we’d get the worst rug burn on our hip bones. That couch you were sitting on earlier was my favorite spot to sit and do my homework. And every year, Mom would go all out decorating for Christmas.”

Your eyes scan the room now. Apart from some greenery and a sad looking wreath above the fireplace, there isn’t much in the way of Christmas decorations.

“So what changed?” you ask.

Hoseok shrugs sadly. “Mom isn’t here to decorate anymore. My brother keeps saying he’s going to do it but he’s pretty busy. Christmas is a few days away and we don’t even have a tree up.”

“Well, where are all the decorations now?” you ask him.

“Ah, probably up in the attic,” he says then snaps his head around to look at you. “What, you want to decorate now? In the dark?”

You shrug. “Why not?” you ask. “It’s not like there’s anything better for us to do.” Then you grab a flashlight off the desk and take his arm. “Come on.”

The attic is pitch dark and not very well insulated and you immediately regret your decision as soon as you crawl up into it after Hoseok. The space stretches across the whole length of the inn but the ceiling slopes, only about five feet high in the middle so both of you have to crouch.

“Why did I let you talk me into this?” Hoseok asks from in front of you as he swings the beam of his flashlight around. It quickly settles on a group of boxes in one of the corners. “Ah. There they are.”

You follow, pulling the sleeves of your sweater down over your freezing hands. It doesn’t help much.

“Think the two of us could get them all down by ourselves?” you ask. The flashlight beam illuminates your breath as it fogs in front of you.

“Probably with a couple trips,” Hoseok says and hands a box to you.

It’s a bit heavy and you have to half drag it behind you to the ladder but between the two of you, you’re able to get all the boxes out and into the hallway below. Once you’re finished, the thought of having to carry them all down to the lobby sounds like the last thing you want to do, so instead you plop onto the floor and lean your back against the wall. Hoseok doesn’t seem too winded but sits down anyway. Then he lifts a flap on one of the boxes and shines his light in.

“Oh man,” he says as he rummages through it. “I totally forgot about some of this stuff.” Then he pulls out a large tin, the jostling causing its contents to rustle and clink. When he tugs off the lid, you curiously lean forward to peer inside. Christmas ornaments. Tons of them. Metal ones and cloth ones, construction paper ones that look like they were made by preschoolers. Hoseok opens a small black box and carefully picks up the ornament inside by its fishing line and shines his light through it. It’s an intricately designed glass snowflake, glittering with multi-facets and silver edges. In the center is a small, metal plate with a date embossed in its center. December 25th, 1980.

“What’s the date?” you ask quietly.

“It’s the year of my parents’ first Christmas here at the inn. The year they got married.” Then he sighs and lays the ornament carefully back in its velvet lined box in the tin. “It hangs on the tree every year. Well, the ones when my parents were here.”

“Do you miss them?”

Hoseok nods. “Yeah. They try to come visit when they can but its been a few years. And Christmas is always too crazy so I haven’t spent one with them in a long time.”

You just nod, biting the inside of your cheek. “Should we try getting this stuff downstairs?” you ask after several silent moments have passed.

With a sharp intake of breath, Hoseok nods and gets quickly to his feet. “It’ll be a good way to pass the time while we wait for the power to come back on, I suppose,” he says and hefts a box up into his arms. Then with a smile, he starts down the stairs.

You watch until he disappears down and around the corner. There has to be something you can do.

After the first couple of trips up and down the stairs, a few of the guests notice what you’re doing and lend a hand. Within just ten minutes all the boxes are down and open and everyone has started decorating the quaint lobby by candle and firelight. You stand back and watch the chaos ensue, arms folded, bottom lip between your teeth. Even with all the green and gold and holly berries, something is missing. And you know just what it is. Your eyes dart back to the box in the corner that holds the tin of Christmas ornaments. Then you look out the window at the flurrying blizzard. Through the whirlwind of snowflakes, you can barely make out multicolored lights in the store window across the street. Your mouth spreads into a grin as an idea begins to form in your mind.

*****

“Has anyone seen Y/N?” Hoseok asks as his eyes scan the room. He’s never seen the place so crowded before but still the face he’s looking for is not among those there. He can feel worry setting in, trickling down his spine like frost. “Y/N?” he calls out pushing his way through until he’s reached the big picture window. There’s no way you would do something as careless as go out in the storm, right? Hoseok’s eyes then go wide when they settle on a dark figure dragging something behind them through the street. “What is she thinking?” he growls before grabbing his coat and hat off the rack by the door and barging out into the storm.

“Y/N!” he yells as the wind whips the flaps of his hat up so the sleet bites at his ears. “Are you insane?”

“Maybe a little bit,” you yell back. You pull your coat tighter around yourself and tug hard on the tree behind you. Hoseok stumbles over to you and takes the tree from your hands.

“What were you thinking?”

“That you need a tree this year.”

“I didn’t mean for you to go out into this mess and—where’d you even get this from?”

“Mr. Park’s store across the street. He’s letting me borrow it.”

Hoseok shakes his head and the two of you lug the tree the rest of the way back to the inn.

You’re both a dripping mess by the time you make it back inside and the tree looks a little worse for ware after being dragged along the ground but the lights still work when you plug it in and it’s still a tree. You immediately go and grab the tin of ornaments and the two of you get to work on decorating it, Hoseok reprimanding you every few minutes as you work.

“That really wasn’t very smart, you know.”

“I know.”

“You could have slipped on the ice and broken your back.”

“I know.”

“Or been impaled by an icicle.”

“I know.”

“Or caught hypothermia.”

“I know.”

“What on God’s frozen earth made you think this was a good idea in the first place?”

“It wasn’t a good idea, Hoseok,” you say then reach into the tin, grabbing the last thing in there, a small velvet lined box. You open it carefully and hold up the delicate snowflake, as if to answer his question.

Hosoek’s eyes immediately begin to glitter as he looks at it. Then they dart past the ornament to meet yours. Without a word, he takes the ornament from you, his fingers brushing yours sending electricity up your arm. Then you watch with a knowing smile as he places it on the tree, front and center.

You’d positioned the tree in front of the large picture window and now you look past it at the storm raging on outside. Hoseok was right. Going out by yourself had been an extremely stupid thing to do. You could have really hurt yourself out there. You could have become disoriented and gotten lost. You could have been impaled by a rogue icicle. But seeing the snowflake ornament hanging there on the tree, illuminated by the firelight and the Christmas lights, and seeing Hoseok’s dark eyes glittering the same way, made it all worth it.

[flameontheotherside]

Closet

I'm officially moving on the 3rd. Forgot that the 1st is a Saturday so the following Monday I will be discharged. I'm excited to leave but also sad to go. I had no idea how much of an influence I've gathered since being here. Lots have told me how much they miss my mom and that they will miss me! I'm like... Whoa. Seriously?

Popularity is weird as fuck! I don't think much of myself. I'm used to being ignored and treated like some annoying flea lmao 😂👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼. Oh lawdy lawdy. Well then I would expect a gowing away party like we had for my mom. Mmmkay?! 😂👌 I want vanilla cake with custard filling from Publix and vanilla bean ice-cream. Lmfao!

For the past week I've been told I'll be missed.

Gosh. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Can imagine I'll be insanely bored at the halfway house deep in the most ghetto place in the county. 😵 My ass will not go anywhere except to the store. I have to get rid of the awkward tans I've collected from the group beach outings. It's been a ride and I have to thank my friends for that. My sunburns still hurt.

I've had the opportunity to work with Erik on helping someone out this morning. Was able to do an incredible reading for a woman here. Being how creepily spot on it was I wanted to try it again. It wasn't as earth-shattering but it was appreciated anyway.

Collecting a bunch of dresses/skirts for the hot as fuck weather.

I would wear shorts but noticed a big difference in comfortablility. 😂👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I can air out my _______, and avoid yeast infections! So it's a win-win! 🤣👌 Today I'm obviously a bit shot-out. Finally collected about 800 songs on my phone! The bitch that stole my phone can have it. My new one was FOR FREEEEEE!... And brand new still in the box and better than the one stolen as per Google comparison suggests.

My luck has been pretty good, I can't really lie or pretend I haven't had some cool things happen since becoming homeless. I do hope George knows he's still my friend. I still feel like I shouldn't have said anything to him about being Bragi. 😑

Reason galactic guardians have trouble hearing about who they are...

Is if it were easy, it would miss the point. For example, I'm almost opposite of my higher self (galactic guardian) and it's because I have to learn how to balance dresses with sneakers. Figuratively speaking. If we remained EXACTLY like our true authentic self it defeats the purpose of being incarnated human. Yet we still have them in our hearts. Like our twin flames, we are never without them. They exist with my galactic self or your higher self!

So when I work with other incarnated galactic guardians, they struggle with identifying. They arent awakened, the connections aren't there. However because (twin flames aside) we are without our authenticity. Clues in your life or past lives are in there like Easter-eggs. I've found a ton of my Easter eggs so it's easy to discern between my galactic guardian and myself as incarnated as Monique.

Remember, life is a game or simulation.

Like our higher selves or galactic guardian selves are playing The Sims. They created us and every parallel parts of us experiencing our past and future lives! 😅 Like when we play games like the Sims, they insert pieces of who they are in to each incarnation! If it's confusing, let me know. Sometimes we want to get creative and design an incarnate completely opposite of how they are represented in the "afterlife" or what I like to call, "in the eathers". This is often why I fighter with my higher self (aka galactic guardian) over dresses and sneakers. For those of use who are awakened or awakening it makes us all feel we have lost our mind.... 🤷‍♀️But what's the fun in being "normal". It's all relative anyway.

So we sometimes we don't always incarnate completely represented as our true selves. Again like our galactic guardian or something else. In the end titles don't matter. Our soul or spirit is designed for a purpose. You might feel a certain way about who you are NOW but when you die, it's like: 😅... Wtf was I salty for?! I'm happy being a regular spirit as a veterinarian helping dead animals or something.

I can understand why some people would struggle.

It's hard and confusing if your higher self or galactic guardian doesn't quite mesh with who you are as it's AVATAR created in this life. They are spirits having a human experience. Some people just don't get it, refuse to understand, or think about it too hard. 😑 It creates an unnecessary inner struggle. Trust me I deal with it myself. You're not crazy, but you can make yourself crazy. Is it worth it?

Why would I create myself like this then? Well, if you had all the answers to the test, what's the point in living? If life was easy or how you think your self-entitlement should be, you can't exist. Un/fortunately how you want to look at it, it's a blessing in disquised. Self-entitlement over what you think you deserve is counterproductive. Take the good with the bad. Life is a balancing act.

😘💕❤️ Have a great day yall!

Check out my store where I offer detailed and credible readings. Please note that pricing is subject to change.

Please visit: Twin Flame Medium

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧Don’t forget to take a look at Erik’s blog ran by his amazing mom Dr Elisa Medhus. Lots of stuff about his afterlife and 💩 at channelingerik.com.

(◕‿◕)♡ Social: Twitter Tumblr Instagram YouTube Facebook

[jasminewaliaposts-blog]

My Journey as a Maid of Honor

Since summer is approaching us, do you know what that means? Wedding Season. A whole a lot of spending your money on clothes that you will probably never wear again, OH and dealing with bridezillas.

Last year of November, my best friend surprised me and some of her other friends by popping the BIG QUESTION, “Will you be my Maid of Honor.” Obviously, I was going to say yes without realizing the amount of annoyance I was about to be faced with. With joy I accepted her box full of treats she gave as a present to me. In the box were pictures from our childhood, a PJ set, a wine bottle, a hand mirror, and a heart filled personalized card. In the card she wrote why she chose me to me the maid of honor, and the date of the wedding which was only revealed to me. Obviously, it was on the same weekend of my birthday. But oh well, it’s just a birthday, I guess…

Two weeks later, my other best friend announced that she would have her wedding 3 weeks before my other best friend (end of June), and my cousin announced that she would have her wedding the same weekend as well.

Tip: Breath and create a calendar with all the main events

So just in case you feel lost, let me draw this out for you. I am a Maid of Honor for a wedding taking place on July 20thand a bridesmaid for a wedding taking place on June 30thand on the same weekend my cousin is getting married.

Now the problem is not the actual weddings, is it the 10 events which happen leading up to the wedding. As well as the thousands of dollars that are spent on clothing, hair and makeup. Being Indian means, we have a lot of traditions and celebrations, which don’t get me wrong, are tons of fun. It involves a whole a lot of color, beautiful outfits, outrageous décor, a lot of dancing and BOOZE. The image below is an example of how décor typically looks like at an Indian wedding ceremony.

Tip: Always create a budget break-down for yourself in terms of how much you will end up spending for each event. This includes the cost of your outfit, makeup, bachelorette/bachelor party, gift(s) to the brides, etc.

As I am processing this, I just realized that I still have one more semester of school left, and this is where I start PANICKING. How am I going to handle school, whilst helping plan three important weddings? Plus, all these food festivals which I do not want to miss out on. Like how can anyone miss out on poutine festival or taco fest?

Anyways, in December my best friend approached me to ask me if I can plan the bachelorette and bridal shower for her. As a Maid of Honor, I had to say yes. Listen, I love my best friend and I would do anything for her, but this is a busy time for me since I am trying to manage school and work on all these wedding shenanigans.

To make things more complicated, she decided to invite her fiancé and his friends to the bachelorette party. So essentially it would be both a bachelorette and a bachelor party. For anyone who has ever experienced this, they would know how complicated things can get when you add a bunch of guys to the mix.

So, the first thing I did was reach out to my best friend’s sister, Bianca, and created a WhatsApp group with all the bridesmaids, and to inform them that the destination we have chosen is Vegas. Now come the outpouring suggestions and recommendations of where we should stay, and how much our budget should be blah blah.

So, complication #5393458 is that everyone in the group are of different age and have different things going on in their lives. Some were students, some are businesswomen, and some are married and have kids. So, their interests and budgets are entirely different from one another.

Some wanted to spend their money on a luxurious hotel, and some would rather spend their money at pool parties and clubs. Long story short, it took me about 3 months to decide on what hotel we should stay at. Once we finalized the hotel, I decided to get touch with the groom and his best man(s) who were planning the bachelor party and let’s just say they were not happy with the hotel we decided to stay at. At this point I told them I don’t really give a s*** about their opinion and we are going ahead with that hotel.

Tip: Create an excel sheet with a budget breakdown so people can see where their money will be going. For people who are on a tight budget, seeing a number visually will ease the process. Below is an example of how this can look like.

The next headache was coming up with an itinerary. This trip is supposed to be 3 nights and 4 days long (Friday- Monday). For Friday, the bride and groom decided that both the guys and girls should spend it together, GREAT! (rolling my eyes). Now this is where things get really COMPLICATED. I had booked all of the girls for an event where Calvin Harris was performing, and of course the best man(s) had to oppose to it, because the cost of them getting a booth there was “too expensive” (FYI: only $100 difference shared amongst 28 people). So anyways, they decided we should go to a “cheaper” event with a less interesting artist. Ok so they literally ruined our wonderful plan, but we were okay with that.

For that same day we had decided that we will get a private dining room for all the girls and guys as a surprise for both the groom and bride. At this point I had already booked a private chef, and here come along the groom’s men opposing to the idea once again. They wanted to do a $100 USD buffet. Why would anyone spend that much on a buffet? Once again, I agreed to it.

Now that the bachelorette party was somewhat coming together, it was time to plan the bridal shower. Let me tell you, this was not fun at all. The bride told us she wanted us to plan an Aladdin themed bridal shower, and once again she wanted us to surprise her so that meant we had to come up with the guest list, find a venue and a caterer, etc.

As I started planning this, I decided to use a technique I learnt when doing group work in the Master of Marketing program, and that is to DELEGATE! Instead of taking on all the responsibilities and trying to plan every single detail, I decided to come up with a list of duties and assign a task to all the bridesmaids.  I simply created a google doc and listed all the responsibilities and put a bunch of names down and shared it with everyone.

Tip: Create a Google Doc and share it with the people who will be participating in the planning process, like the one below.

The planning led all the way to April, which also meant exam time. Since there was only two weeks left till Vegas, this meant CRUNCH time.

Amidst all this, I had to deal with coordinating bridesmaid’s outfits. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TRYING TO GET 13 BRIDESMAIDS to send their correct measurements?! Anyways, once I got the measurements, I decided to order the outfits.

Tip: Ladies and Gents, whenever you are placing a bulk order for clothes, always make sure you get a sample outfit from the designer

The outfits were being made in India. It is a beautiful white skirt and crop top with gold embroidery. The cost of each outfit is $300 CAD, and each bridesmaid has to pay out of her pocket which made it more nerve wracking in terms of getting these outfits down to perfection.

Three weeks later, we received a box with all these outfits, and what happens? NONE OF THEM FIT. I called the designer and yelled at him for sending me the wrong sizes and since these are custom made, none of them are refundable nor returnable. I told the bridesmaids to re-measure themselves so I can find a seamstress to fix all of them, and turns out, they all measured themselves wrong.

Tip: Always find someone professional to get you measured

So, since it was their fault, I told them that it was their responsibility to get their own outfits fixed. Remember guys, always delegate.

Now its exam time, and I am both stressed and excited for Vegas (not really excited for my exams haha). After I finished my exams, it was crunch time for the trip, so this meant buying the decorations for our hotel and custom making our t-shirts and making any last-minute reservations. This also meant hitting the gym every single day in the hopes I would have a 6-pac for my trip.

Amidst all this chaos, I totally forgot to order outfits for my trip. So, I quickly went onto Fashion Nova, which is a famous online store for both men and women. I quickly placed an order in hopes I would get my order in time and hopefully all the outfits would fit. Fast forward a week later (I now only have 6 days left till my trip) I receive my order from Fashion Nova, AND EVERYTHING IS TOO SMALL on me. When I mean I started crying, I mean it! I called my best friend and started crying because nothing fit me and I had spent so much money on these outfits and none of it was refundable, oh and they also sent me 3 of the wrong outfits.

So, at this point my only option was to go to the mall and try to find 3 outfits for a night out, 2 for a pool party and at least 2 for a fancy dinner and lunch. So, I went to at least 3 malls, and FOUND NOTHING!

Did I mention how unnecessarily expensive stores are? I wasn’t going to spend $100 on just one dress. At this point I made a decision to go onto another online store called Pretty Little Thing. I decided to order 4 dresses, confident that they will all fit since I ordered from them before. Since I needed it expediated, I had to pay $20 USD for express shipping. 2 days later, I get my package, and as I’m furiously opening it, I try on my first out and guess what? The dresses are too big. At this point I was not even mad; I was just laughing at myself for even trying.

Tip: Never order dresses from any online shops until reading reviews on both Instagram and on Google. Try to find the exact outfit on the company’s Instagram page and see the reviews for that exact outfit. See what people say about the sizing and quality.

I come downstairs, and my mom asks me “how are the dresses?” I told her that I am just going to end up wearing my old dresses because this whole online ordering business is not working out for me. She took a look at the dresses and said that she can take me to a seamstress and just get them fixed. How genius is my mother… The same day I decide to visit my seamstress and she quotes me $50 just to get them fixed, without hesitation I gave it to her and told her I will pick them up the next day. Anyways, so that whole situation worked out somehow. I went to Post Canada to return all my Fashion Nova dresses. As we know I was already frustrated with their return policy, and then I was told I would have to pay $30 in return shipping, WHEN IT WAS NOT EVEN MY FAULT. I emailed Fashion Nova, and let’s just say I sent a very threatening message to them on both Facebook and email.

Tip: Always send customer service an email about your complaint/ experience. If you do not like their response via email, try contacting them on social media. These companies care about their reputation and the last thing they want is a bad review on their page.

Finally came the day to leave for VEGAS! Our flight departed at 9 p.m. from Toronto, so we decided to go to the airport to sit at the Air Canada Lounge to eat and drink. We then decided to stop by the duty free to pick up some alcohol since everyone who has been to Vegas knows how expensive food and alcohol can be there.

Tip: Never buy alcohol from Vegas, always get it from the airport when departing.

We all finally arrive and set-up our suite with decorations and gifts for all the bridesmaids. And let’s just say after that, the trip was a blur.

After recovering from the trip, now it was time to finalise everything for the bridal shower. This was a breeze since we hired people to decorate the venue and make all the deserts. Below is a picture of the beautiful Aladdin cake.

Today is May 26th, 2019, and within the next 3 weeks it is both my cousins and my other best friend’s bridal showers and bachelorette parties. (WISH ME LUCK)!

This story will be continued, if I make it out alive after this summer….

[jadekitty777]

I Found My Heart in San Francisco

Another fun fact: Every day this week will have A. Three stories in Qrow’s perspective, B. Three in Tai’s and C. One they share, which was Day 2 of course. I really had the weirdest guidelines when I did this, but I honestly think it provided some of the best personal results.

Day 4 – Love Language/New Hobbies (thinking about it, they kind of both fit but the former was the more intentional choice) @taiqrowweek

Summary: It’s 1967. The Summer of Love has come and passed. Yet, Qrow discovers that even though the season has transitioned into the next, love is persistent. Maybe that was why they called it Falling. [Coffee Shop AU… with a twist!]

Rating: K+                  

Word Count: 13K – yeah this one’s a monster

Warnings: Take the timeline into consideration – definitely some discrimination in this one

Ao3 Link: I Found My Heart in San Francisco

Dedication: This one’s all for marvolo2526. I couldn’t think up another AU idea to complete the circuit and she had yelled ‘coffee shop!’ and then I went wild from there.

Notes: Title is a play off of the 1953 Tony Bennett single "I Left My Heart in San Francisco".

Okay. Oh wow. It’s time to give you all my absolute favorite of the week… and probably overall. This baby took two months of love and care and a BUTT-TON of research to compose. On that note, any historical inaccuracies, if anyone finds any, were either deliberate, accidental, or enough research was unable to be located. I’m very, very proud of this story though, my whole heart went into it, and I really just hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

~

San Francisco

September 18th, 1967

If anyone asked Qrow, he’d tell them patience was only for those who couldn’t figure out how to do things quickly.

Ca-chink!

Like using a cash register. Any twelve-year-old who had a dream of driving up to Harbinger Cliffs to maybe get lucky knew how to use one. He was certainly one of many who had lost countless weekends of his school years selling malts to snot-nosed kids or learning how to balance a tray full of burgers and fries while on rollerblades just to earn some nickels. It all paid off by junior year, when he finally got to roll up to school in his shiny Chevy Bel Air and got treated like a god by his peers. Opening himself up to the social map got him to also meet his high school sweetheart; and while he never took Winter Schnee up to the cliffs, he did get to take her to prom. They latest up until graduation day, where she went off to Atlas while he accepted a scholarship to Beacon. During the first year, he’d wrote letters; but a few months in, she stopped responding and he moved on.

In more ways than one.

“And that’s it!” Summer explained as she showed how to close the sale on the register, shutting the cashdrawer. “Think you got it?”

“Mmm? Yeah, I’m good.” Qrow replied, when in truth he had put more attention into trying to balance one of the red stirrers on his fingertips than listening to her.

His new manager swiped it off his finger and bopped him on the nose with it. “Qrow!”

“Whaaat?” He lent back against the counter. “Come on Sums, I’ve worked register before.”

Her expression only turned further sour, which was not very charming. “I pulled a lot of strings to convince my parents to let you work here, so if there’s even a penny out of place, I’m shoving this up your nose.”

Qrow eyed the stirrer warily, raising his hands in surrender. “Aye, aye, captain.”

Café Rosé was a charming little establishment on the corner of 3rd and Main, conveniently within walking distance of the academy and a college kid’s dream spot for exam cramming or after-party pick-me-ups. Though it had only opened a few years ago, it had done well for itself, having hit the scene just as coffee was becoming a larger fad among young adults. The quaint shop had a hole in the wall style feeling, with a bar running along the white counter and less than a half dozen tables and chairs set up across the limited floor space. The floor was chessboard checkered like a typical diner and the walls were black. The atmosphere would almost be depressing, if not for the additional design choice: red rose bouquets, hand painted at equally spaced intervals along the walls, making the room pop in an almost dazzling way without being too gaudy.

Honestly, he was ninety-eight percent sure the only reason he got hired was the fact he matched the shop’s chic color scheme to a T (though, he was certainly aesthetically pleasing all on his own, if he did say so himself). It definitely wasn’t because Summer’s parents liked him – they’re suspicious stares said all he needed to know of what they thought of him. Still, he couldn’t beat a job close to his dorm room that was also willing to work around his intensive school schedule; a fact only further daunted by the major-intensive coursework that came with starting his junior year. So, certainly he could put up with a bit of distaste for a few extra dollars in his pocket.

Plus, working with his best friend was an added bonus.

The bell above the door chimed, a small group of sophomores walking in, chattering amicably. Summer side-eyed him with a cheeky grin. “Alright Mr. Expert, time to put your skills to work.”

He winked in return. “I’ll try not to show you up, flowerbud.”

The next hour proceeded fairly commonly; he took orders, Summer made them, he delivered them. Simple. They had some snacks and fare to sell – the homemade pastries were a little stale, so he didn’t recommend those – but overall, the big selling point was the coffee. It was good brew and made with one of these new-fangled drip machines that had come out only a few years back. Most households couldn’t afford it and still made their coffee by boiling water on the stove, so merely the appeal alone of being able to buy coffee made the fancy, expensive way left people feeling like they were sophisticated and high-class.

Frankly, the little machine was just fascinating to operate, and more than once Qrow found himself just watching the russet liquid teardrop into the glass pot. It was during one of those mesmerized moments that he didn’t realize someone was standing behind him until he heard a thump-thump-thump of someone’s hand smacking the counter. He started and whirled around, a retort already curling on his tongue –

And immediately fizzling away as he was starstruck by the deepest blue eyes he’d ever seen.

The fellow was probably the same age as him, but the way he waved and smiled almost boyishly shy at him made him appear a bit younger and had Qrow’s heart skipping like it was playing for the Hopscotch National championship.

Mother of Mary, he was in love.

“Uh, sorry. How can I help you?” He said, stepping back up to the register on wobbly legs. The stranger hesitated, as if uncertain, and it gave Qrow the chance to give him a real look over.

His appearance was very Beatles-esque but the shade arrangement blended into a sort of downhome country allure: mop-top cut blond hair, orange silk necktie, lamb’s wool yellow sweater, russet flare slacks. What stood out the most though was the single piercing in his right ear, the stud in the shape of a sunflower. He must have been staring at it too long, because the blond suddenly pointed at it, raising an eyebrow in an unasked question. Qrow reached up, covering his own stud, a sideways cross that matched his necklace, nodding quietly.

The response was… bizarre. Those pretty blue eyes widened as he shook his head rapidly, before he pointed a bit more insistently at his own ear.

“Uhh… what?” Qrow asked.

The stranger slumped a bit, before gritting his teeth a little and hissing, “Sssu…” He paused, frowning, then held up a finger in the universal gesture of ‘wait a moment’ before digging around in his pocket.

The hell was this, some weird game of charades? He wasn’t that out of the scene was he? Whatever it was, it was kind of a buzzkill. “Buddy, maybe you just want to order?”

He didn’t even bother to acknowledge that with a response, still going about pulling out a small notepad, scratching something onto it hurriedly before holding it out his way.

Where’s Summer?

Qrow felt a spike of annoyance rise. Was this guy confused or just an idiot? Either way, he aimed the other with as sharp a stare as he could muster, snapping, “I’ll tell you right now, she ain’t interested. So if you’d like to order, I suggest doing so. Otherwise, leave.”

That earned him another frown, before the blond started to write again. What the ever-living hell was this?! And why was everyone at the shop giving him looks, like he was the one doing weird shit? “Hey, you need your ears cleaned? Either order or get out!”

That was when he heard the snap of the back door closing as Summer walked back in.

“Tai!” She yelped, before crossing the room in an instant, hip-checking Qrow out of the way with a hasty, “Sorry, I got this!” She reached out, tapping the freak’s arm. It caused him to stop writing and look up, before he grinned brightly. Summer smiled in return and then started to move her hands in odd patterns as she spoke, “Sorry, he’s new. The usual, right?”

The blond set down his pen and paper, silently gesturing back in equally unintelligible movements. Qrow watched the odd events wondering if he’d stepped into the Twilight Zone or something because though he wasn’t speaking, Summer seemed to understand whatever it was he was saying – was the conversation transmitting right into her brain?

Qrow watched the man warily as he handed over some money and walked away from the counter, unsure what to make of the sheepish smile and wave he offered him as he passed. He looked back at Summer, ducking over to grab her shoulder and murmur, “Do I need to call the FBI?”

“What?” She snorted down a laugh.

“I think your brain’s been probed.” He shot the man a suspicious glance. Was that why he was so attractive? To put unsuspecting guys like him off his guard?

“Really Qrow?” Summer was unamused. “I think I’m going to have to ban you from late night TV.”

He frowned, a touch indignant. It could happen! “Well, what was that then?”

“It was sign language, dummy.” She rolled her eyes. “Taiyang’s deaf.”

He blinked.

Oh.

So, he just yelled at a deaf guy.

Face turning peppermint red, he placed a hand on the counter, using it as leverage to slowly sink behind it so no one could see him anymore. “I think I’m just going to take my break here. Preferably forever.”

He was given a few sympathetic pats on the head and, ten minutes later, a peace offering in the form of a cup of coffee with enough cream and sugar to turn it light as caramel. So, he sucked it up and took his walk of shame all the way to the end of the counter, carefully placing the mug down in the other’s line of sight, but not too close to the textbook he was reading.

Taiyang glanced up and that boyish smile was back. He placed a hand against his chin and waved outwards, like he was blowing a kiss to him.

Somehow, Qrow turned even redder this time, ducking his head and hurrying away as his heart thundered in a confused cacophony.

~

October 3rd, 1967

“Alright bro, you’ve been wallowing for days now. Lay it on me already.”

Qrow sighed, pulling the pillow up from his face and glancing towards his twin. Rather than answer, his lips pursed in disgust at the sight of her. “What are those grungy things?”

Raven pulled down the overly large purple shades, red eyes peering over the rim tops at him. “You don’t like them? I thought they were pretty boss.” She readjusted the glasses, looking back at herself in the mirror. Each time she turned her head to see herself from another angle, the multitude of beads she had strung in her hair rattled nosily, the flower bandanna around her head doing nothing to contain the wild black locks.

“Remind me to tell Vernal to keep you off the grass for a while.” Qrow mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“She was talking about getting inked, you know.” She pat her arm. “Right here. A raven.”

He hummed in acknowledgment, but his mind was on Taiyang and the little black heart he had on his own arm. Qrow had only seen it yesterday; it had been a warm day so he’d been in a polo rather than his arrangement of sweaters. “You get liver poisoning that way.” He replied distractedly.

“You really are being a drag.” Raven sat on her own bed, graciously sparing him from having to look at the gaudy shades by tossing them on the mattress. “What’s happening?”

He tossed the inkling around in his head, pondering over whether he really wanted to tell his sister about his woes. But, who else did he have besides Summer? “You know the job I took a few weeks back? We have a regular there who can’t hear.”

“Like, at all?” When he nodded, she lent forward, resting her hands under her chin. “Wild. So what do you do?”

“Summer talks to him with these weird hand flaps.”

“It’s called sign language, birdbrain.”

“I know! That’s not the point!”

She arched a brow. “So, what is the point?”

“I…” He looked away, unable to face her as he admitted, “He irritates me. I don’t get why we should cater to him just ‘cause he was unlucky.”

There was a creak of bedspring as Raven shifted positions, then said, “You sound like mom.”

“I know!” Qrow shouted, shooting up from the bed and running his hands through his hair. “It’s been three years Rae! Why can’t I get her damn screechy voice out of my head?!”

Raven lounged back on the heels of her hands, her red eyes following him while he paced the floor and mumbled out angry curses. She was patient as she waited for him to finish, but once he’d slumped back to his own bed, hanging his head in defeat, her voice was oddly soothing to his frayed nerves, “Ma had plenty to say about everyone. It’s hard conditioning to break. You and I know that better than anyone.”

He scoffed. “As if you ever had a problem.”

She shrugged, not answering that. It wasn’t like he hadn’t known Raven was kissing chicks behind the bleachers by the time she was thirteen. And when their parents finally found out and pointed to the door, she’d marched out of the house with her head held high as if it’d been her idea to leave the whole time.

But him? He didn’t even try crossing the bridge until his first college party, where a few shots blitzed him enough to realize that Tin Man Jimmy’s eyes were rather fetching and it was a terrible shame to make them close when he kissed him. They hadn’t lasted, but it had been enough to make him want to find the underground world hidden from society’s eye. So, after getting a few tips from Raven (and a lot of necessary encouragement over how he wasn’t a demon birthed from Hell’s fiery womb), he started to dress just a bit flashier, speak a little more in jargon and frequent more bars on the south side of town. Three years away from home left him more comfortable within himself than he’d ever thought possible, as if he truly was a bird that was finally given the right to fly for the first time. He thought he’d really broken free of the cage his parents had ignorantly built around him.

And then he had to meet Taiyang and, with each passing day leaving his attraction further soured with distaste, Qrow realized that no, he really wasn’t past everything and maybe he never would be.

“You’re brooding.” Raven quirked, always pleased in her awful taste of humor. “Look, you really want to stick it to mom? Make friends with him.” She rolled her shoulders in a half-hearted shrug. “And if you can’t do that, then just ignore him.”

“I, I guess.” He conceded, sighing towards the ceiling. “This is all so janked. Even worse, I feel like I’m betraying my people somehow.”

“What does that mean?”

He placed a hand over his piercing, recalling the expression on Tai’s face when he’d done the same thing during their first meeting. An expression he now understood had been panic as the man feared he’d just accidentally made a total stranger out himself in public. “He’s batting for my team, not yours.”

“Ooooo.” Her expression lit up with sudden understanding. A smirk began creeping its way onto her face. “So what’s he look like?”

Qrow gave her one glance before adamantly shaking his head. “Oh no. I know that gleam.”

She fluttered her eyelids; though, the day she could pull of innocent would be the same day God’s rapture happened. “Whatever do you mean, dear brother?”

“You’ve got that look that says you’re about to psychoanalyze me!”

“I don’t have the faintest idea what you’re talking about.”

“Just because you’re majoring in psychology doesn’t suddenly make you an expert.”

“No. I suppose not.” She finally agreed. And as he stretched back out along his bed, he thought she was just going to let it go, until: “…So, blue eyes, huh?”

Qrow buried his face into his pillow and screamed.

~

October 11th, 1967

The rag made a wet plop as Qrow tossed it onto the tabletop, wiping away circular coffee cup marks and pastry crumbs. It was a slow day at the café, only three customers in the shop and only a handful of others having come in since the start of his shift. He looked towards the only one sitting at the bar. Taiyang was signing in quick, rapid movements, and though Qrow couldn’t make heads or tails of it, Summer had no trouble keeping up as she started to laugh at whatever he was telling her.

Feeling his jaw tighten, he ducked his head and slunk off to another table, scrubbing a little harder at the stains. It had only been a few days, and he found attempting to ignore Tai was only resulting in him being even more hyperaware of his presence.

The only other patrons were two classmates he faintly recognized from his American Studies course. They were talking in hushed tones and, normally, he’d tune it out; but searching for a much-needed distraction, Qrow lent down to wipe one of the chair seats off as he strained his ear.

“I don’t know about this Cardin.” He heard one of them grunt gruffly. The guy’s hair was cut in a way that it made him look like a ridiculous cockatiel.

The other hissed back, “Don’t be a flake.”

“I’m not!”

“Good.” Then, even lower, “It’s not like he’ll hear us coming anyways.”

What?!

Qrow narrowly missed smacking his head on the bottom of the table as he straightened up. Walking around their table to the next, he continued to try and listen in, but they’d moved to talking about the Yankees game. He side-eyed their backs, wondering if he’d maybe just misheard. Eventually, he gave up hovering, knowing there was only so much he could pretend to clean and returned to the counter to organize the mugs.

The minutes passed and he kept sneaking glances to the duo, but when they didn’t so much as give Tai a glance when he stood to leave, Qrow relaxed, even returned the wave the blond sent him as he passed by. The bell rang as the door opened and shut.

Seconds ticked by and nothing happened.

He sighed, turning away and tossing his rag in the basin. Of course he was overreacting.

Scraaap!

Qrow paused, looking back and watching with increasing trepidation as the two students got to their feet, pulling on their jackets. The snap of the door closing was unusually loud, leaving a disturbing silence behind.

“Ah! Alone at last.” Summer cheered, handing him Tai’s mug.

He swallowed down the sickness in his throat. “Yeah.”

His friend continued to chatter but he found it hard to listen as he stared down at the cup, his mind circling as much as the coffee rings he was staring at.

“God has a plan for everyone.” He could almost feel the bite of his mother’s fingernails digging into his shoulder as she whispered in his ear, “If someone’s born unnatural, He’s already forsaken them. Whatever comes next, it’s only what they deserve.”

His hand tightened around the mug, then he slammed it on the counter, the loud noise drowning out her voice.

No!

“Uh, Qrow?”

“I’m taking my break!” He called, jumping over the counter in one fluid motion as he sprinted out the door. He took off around the building and through the alleyway most of the students cut through to get to the outfields.

The night was brisk, autumn’s chill having settled in deep this year and leaving the trees already wilting, their spindly limbs like decrepit fingers reaching out for him as he passed by. His heart beat a hard rhythm in his chest as he spotted the duo quickly closing in. Qrow sprinted forward as fast as legs could carry him, his mouth opening in a useless cry Tai could never hear.

Except, by some miracle he did, stopping and turning just in time to accept Cardin’s punch to his face.

Even from this distance, Qrow winced at the sound of the impact, and had it been him accepting the blow, he would have been on the ground immediately. But Tai was more solidly built, only stumbling back, and still had the awareness to jerk away from the follow up strike. What happened next was probably the most unreal thing Qrow had ever witnessed when, just as quick, the blond’s hands reached out, clasping around his attacker’s wrist and elbow, smoothly kicking out his legs so he could flip him. Cardin gave an aborted yelp, all the breath probably whooshing out of his lungs from how hard he hit the ground.

His mohawked buddy tried to grapple Tai from behind, but the blond’s elbow snapped back, landing a rough hit into his chest to knock him back. That was when Qrow finally managed to clean the distance, throwing all his weight in as he shoulder-tackled into guy just as he was stumbling back, actually managing to toss him into the grass next to his friend.

Rubbing the ache from his arm, Qrow ignored the look of surprise Tai was sending him as he growled out to sprawled forms, “If you don’t want to get thrashed again, I suggest you split!”

Cardin scowled as he got to his knees, eyes darting between them as if he was looking for another cheap shot. He must have thought better of whatever ill plans he was concocting though, because he said, “Time to cut out Russ, this scene’s getting diseased.”

A flare of anger burned through Qrow. “What was that?!”

It only earned him a taunting, “Later fags!” As the two took off.

His hands shook as he curled them into fists, mind playing the thought of chasing after them and giving them both a quality shiner to wear for the rest of the week. Yet, movement at his left had him looking back at Tai in time to see the blond cringing some as he touched his face.

“Ah, jeez.” Qrow mumbled when the other’s hand came away scarlet red with blood.

Returning to the shop with Tai’s nose gushing like a fountain yielded about the response he expected as Summer took one look at them, then yelled in horror, “What happened?!”

Leading the blond to the nearest bar stool, Qrow replied, “The two that left here tried to get the jump on him. Can you get a rag, Sums?”

The dainty woman was quick to do so, ringing it out in the sink before handing it over to the blond. As he pressed it to his face, she gestured and said, “Are you alright?”

With his hands busy, all Tai could do was nod.

“He’s fine.” Qrow reassured, leaning his hip against the counter. “Took it like a champ and gave twice back. It was kind of impressive actually.” Really, there had been something fantastic about the finesse in which Tai had moved; it had been as if he was channeling Bruce Lee spirit into his own.

Being the girl she was, Summer only continued to frown, flapping her hands some more. “Stay as long as you need.”

Tai just nodded again, and as she walked away to finish stocking the coffee canisters, he glanced sideways towards him in a confused manner.

“Eh.” Qrow just shrugged in return. He turned away, about to round the bar, when a warm hand closed around his arm. He looked down at it, then the man it belonged to. “Yeah?” He asked, remembering two seconds later he couldn’t hear him. Just like when they first met, Taiyang asked him to wait, before he dug out his notepad and pen, flipping it to a clean page. Qrow rested against the counter again, looking down when the notepad was pushed towards him.

Thank you for coming after me. It read. The handwriting was so neat, it could have been book print and Qrow imagined he probably went to one of those schools that slapped students’ wrists until each line and dot was perfect.

He wondered if they were even harder on Tai about it.

The pen was placed down next to it, invitation clear, and after a short hesitance, Qrow picked it up, writing back: You don’t need to thank me. You did fine on your own. How’d you know they were there?

Tai shook his head when he read it, taking the pen again, returning with, I saw their shadows.

Okay, that’s pretty boss. He replied.

Thank you?

The question mark, combined with the baffled look, made Qrow wonder if he even knew what the term meant so he quickly amended with: Sorry. It means really cool.

Tai read it, rolling his eyes. His reply was quick, but rather than push it back he held the notepad up, one raised eyebrow enhancing the clearly miffed tone: I know. I’m deaf, not out of touch.

He laughed, the response catching him off-guard.

Tai set it back down and added underneath that, Noticing stuff like that is normal for me. Nothing to get freaked out over.

Just like the blond had, Qrow replied with an equal amount of cheekiness: Alright Mr. Sassypants. I still -think it’s boss.

It gifted him a smile and a compliment: You’re lucky you’re a dish, Qrow.

He felt heat on his face. Perfect for every meal of the day. He flirted back.

Tai laughed behind his hand. It was mostly soundless, little tiny huffs of air, but it made his eyes shimmer merrily.

Qrow was glad he had the counter for support as he felt his knees go weak all over again, positive the smile stretching along his face was goofy as could be, but not minding at all.

~

October 12th, 1967

As he took the ever-familiar trek from his history class to the shop, Qrow found himself whistling the chorus to “All You Need is Love”, a bop to his step and a sway to his hips. He pretended the brittle grass crunching underfoot was a suitable replacement for the backing percussion, heels hitting a little harder when he passed over the same spot where those punks had gotten their tails handed to them just last night, and made his way through the trees and alley next. He weaved his way around the bad luck cracks in the sidewalk, humming the last tones of the song as he pulled open the door, the half-formed plan on how to convince Summer to let him slack off a bit today so he could chat Tai up again falling away when he realized she wasn’t at the counter.

“Hey there, Mrs. Rose.” He said as politely as possible. “Sums running late?”

The woman, hair graying and tummy plumped with age shook her head. “‘Fraid she won’t be making it in for a bit. Poor child came down with a frightful fever. She looks just dreadful. So I’ve decided to work her shift until she feels well.”

“Oh.” He said, trying to mask his disappointment. “Give her my regards next time you see her.”

“Certainly will. Now, be a dear and handle the dishes.” As he passed by her, she caught his arm, grip almost too tight as she whispered harshly in his ear, “And get that thing out of your ear. People talk you know.”

“Yes ma’am.” Qrow replied. As he placed the stud in his pocket, he found himself extremely glad she hadn’t been there yesterday. She certainly would have spared no sympathy for Tai and his mangled nose.

He wasn’t surprised when he spent his next hour working like a dog, despite the moderate business. But even if Mrs. Rose had made him scrub the tiles with a toothbrush, nothing could tear his eyes away from the door. Therefore, he didn’t miss the exact moment Tai walked through. He practically dropped the trayful of mugs he was bussing in his hurry to set them down and hop on the register.

From the smile he wore, it seemed Tai was just as blissed to see him. And though his face was swollen and bruised, he was still the prettiest sight Qrow had gotten all day.

He slid the note he’d written on a scrap of receipt over. Summer’s sick and her mom’s a prowler. The usual?

The blond nodded, pulling out his pen. Good luck.

As he took the change, he stuffed the note next to his earring, hoping that having the wish in his pocket would act like a charm, because he was going to need all he could get.

No matter how much he wanted to, Qrow didn’t dare try to talk more with Tai. He did spare him a few glances here and there, and if they caught eyes, they’d share smiles; but even that yielded short supply as the blond spent most of his time bent over his notebook, scribbling away. He would have been more upset that those blue eyes weren’t following his every moment like a lovesick chick gazing upon her Casanova, had he had enough time to consider it.

Instead, he was too busy following the siren’s noxious songs of “Qrow can you do” and “Qrow can you get this” and “Qrow this just isn’t clean enough”. So, by the time he thought to look back, Tai’s stool was empty, nothing left but his mug. Trying not to let disappointment drag him down, he went to fetch it. His hand paused inches from picking up the mug when he realized a folded slip of paper was pinned underneath it.

Heart jamming a rhythm that would make even The Rolling Stones jealous, Qrow scanned the store, just to make sure no one’s attention was on him, before he picked up the note. A question was written on it:

What’s a crow’s favorite drink?

He arched an eyebrow, before unfolding the page. The answer was written in large lettering, arched like a rainbow over a surprisingly well-drawn ink picture of a cartoon crow with its wings folded around a mug.

CAWfee!

Qrow snorted, shoulders shaking with effort to contain his laughter, a flush of warmth spreading throughout him like a warm summer rain.

“Qrow! Don’t dawdle over there! I need you to scrub these pastry pans!” Mrs. Rose called shrilly.

Even that couldn’t ruin his euphoric mood. “Coming!” He placed the drawing next to his receipt and earring, feeling luckier than the richest man in Vegas.

~

October 13th, 1967

Day two went much the same, but with a heavier crowd often found as the week drew on as exhausted students tried to sludge through the day and make it to the weekend. Once the first hour had passed, Qrow’s feet and patience were already tired and he’d managed to mix up two orders. Summer’s mom was in a state over it, and she made sure he knew it as she yelled down at him enough that he felt like he was back in primary school and getting scolded for pushing Glynda off the witch’s hat on the playground all over again.

As he waited for the coffee to brew once again, vengefully contemplating the ramifications of his soul if he decided to set Mr. Rose’s hair on fire, he heard a telltale rap-a-tap-tap along the countertop that told him his favorite customer had arrived. And, sure enough, as he turned to face the register, there Tai was, smiling back at him in that way he couldn’t imagine he’d ever grow tired of.

Qrow did his best to return it, but Tai didn’t need hearing to tell him that his heart was misplaced from it. Already prepared, the blond scribbled on his little notepad, sliding it his way.

You alright?

He took the proffered pen. I’ll survive.

It felt a shame to see the smile get overtaken by a frown and he felt almost as cheated as if the weatherman promised a sunny day only for him to walk into the rain. Tai rolled the pen between his fingers, before writing quickly: Hang in there Pige.

Wait.

What?

Qrow’s eyebrows knotted. Of course he knew the reference. Any 50s kid did. But how did-? No. More importantly-

No way. You’re Lady. I’m the Tramp, through and through.

I’m interested in that yarn if you dare to spin it. Tai was laughing quietly again.

Feeling his face heat, he quickly changed topics. How do you even know that movie?

I really like dogs. So, every week I’d beg my parents to take me to the cinema to see it, even though I couldn’t hear it. My mom eventually wrote out the dialogue for me so I could follow along. Now it was the other’s turn to look embarrassed.

Feeling a bit amiss for words, Qrow only wrote back, Good mom. Secretly glad that bitterness couldn’t be telegraphed so easily.

The best. Speaking of, Mrs. Rose is giving you the stink eye.

Ah, shit.

He gratefully accepted the dime the blond slipped him, reluctantly getting back to work.

That night, a new drawing was placed beside his coffee drinking crow. This one was only pencil and more hastily sketched due to being busier than its predecessor.  The first thing that drew his eye was the slightly more masculine Lady, snooty nose up in the air and sunflower perched atop one floppy ear. There was a leash in ‘her’ teeth and a speech bubble above her head that said, ‘You belong in the dog house.’

Attached to its other end was Tramp, the pendant on his collar a sideways cross. His ears were raised hopefully as he inquired back, ‘Yours?’

Qrow lay in bed that night, unable to rest as he thought over the silent question for a long, long time.

~

October 14th, 1967

By day three, Summer was back and Qrow practically fell to her feet in his relief, hugging onto her knees and begging her to never leave him again. She promptly told him to stop overacting like he was living in a Broadway musical and, as an apology, gave him one of her Secret Ingredient Cookies that were known for their heavenly taste. It certainly made up for him still doing most of the work while his still recovering friend puttered about at the speed of molasses. Nor did she raise protest as he endlessly groused over his meager sufferings. It was only when he got to the single highlight of the past two days, did she speak up.

“Of course I knew he could draw.” Summer interjected what was meant to be a rhetorical question. “Who did you think painted the roses here?”

“Hold up. Didn’t your parents open this place up a few years back?”

“Yep.” She said, adding a little pop to the ‘p’.

He looked at her, mildly betrayed. “How long have you known Tai?”

She hummed. “Since 10th grade. I went to a special sign language event with my cousin Neo. To support her, you know?” He was certain from the way she rolled her eyes that he looked about as utterly clueless as he felt. “She’s mute, Qrow. Anyways, that’s where I met Tai. We stayed in touch ever since.”

He was starting to wonder what else he didn’t know about Summer. “So why haven’t I met him before?”

“Tai tends to get nervous meeting new people. And you’ve never exactly been Mr. Approachable, especially not back in high school.”

A weak, “Hey!” was about the extent of his argument. He couldn’t deny he used to be one of the biggest gas lighters in the whole school, always looking for a new victim to scoff at. It was a world wonder how Summer put up with him back then.

“But, you know,” She continued as she stacked a few of the clean mugs up on the rack, tone deceptively casual, “He sure has been hanging around here a lot more often ever since you started working here.”

Rap-a-tap-tap, went the counter. Summer smiled knowingly before she flitted over to the register. Qrow watched the two talk, meeting Tai’s eyes over her head every now and again, and found the question he’d been agonizing over all night was suddenly startlingly simple to answer.

As he went to make the order he’d long ago memorized, he turned to his friend and said, “Sums, I need a favor.”

Ten minutes later, the cup was placed down on the counter, and as always, Tai smiled at him, waving his hand in front of his chin like a kiss. ‘Thank you’ he said.

For the first time ever, instead of the simple nod that had been the entirety of their communication for weeks now, Qrow mimicked the movement. ‘You’re welcome.’

Tai’s eyes widened.

Hands shaking with both nerves and inexperience, he carefully followed up with, ‘Would you like to go out sometime?’

For a fraction of a minute, while the blond sat there, not replying, Qrow worried he’d gotten it wrong.

And then, just as slow and deliberate, Tai rose his hand, curling it into a fist and shaking it in clear answer.

‘Yes.’

And like the bird he was named after, Qrow soared.

~

November 28th, 1967

So that’s why you wear your crosses like that!

Yeah. With a mother like mine, you’d forsake all religion too. What about you? Why a flower?

Don’t laugh. I garden. Sunflowers are my favorite.

Wait. So you can draw, plant flowers and you’re a martial artist blackbelt? Is there anything you can’t do?

Well, I can’t sing.

Qrow laughed, reaching over the bar to give the other’s shoulder a playful shove. Tai grinned back, completely unabashed, but as he pulled his notebook back towards him to write something else, he seemed to hesitate. His expression gentled with contemplation before finally writing what was on his mind.

When Qrow read it, he felt his breath stick like glue in his throat.

I know you want to ask. It’s okay.

He looked from Tai’s inviting gaze down to the pen, the offer clearly on the table to finally break the light conversation they’d been having the past six weeks and truly get serious. Inhaling deeply, he gathered his courage as he took it and replied: You got me. So, were you always deaf?

Tai’s smile never faltered, even as he answered: No. But I don’t remember a time when I could hear either.

What happened?

When I was a baby, I got really sick. My blood-related father refused to let mom take me to the hospital, even when I wouldn’t wake up. That’s why she left him. The doctors brought down my fever but my hearing was gone after that.

Qrow’s scanned over the words again and again, unsure what to say, but knowing ‘I’m sorry’ wouldn’t be well received. That’s awful. He settled on instead.

Tai shrugged. Can’t miss what you never knew you had.

Qrow had a feeling he didn’t only mean his hearing. He could certainly relate.

He tried to think of something, anything to say – but, despite a distinct lack of a usable voice, Tai was easily better at breaking silences. Alright, your turn. Tell me something unique about yourself.

Unique, huh? He tapped the end of the pen on the counter as he thought over whether he wanted to give away his biggest trump card or if he wanted to hold it until he could introduce them before dropping the bomb. But, when nothing else good came to mind he finally wrote:

I’m a twin.

It was still worth it. Tai’s eyes practically bugged out of his head, looking between the page and him and when he wrote back, it was messy and excited, underlined multiple times for emphasis.

FAR OUT! I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!

He laughed again, twirling his wrist in a gesture he’d only recently learned meant ‘go on’. He was picking Sign in bits and pieces from the other. He still couldn’t hold a conversation or even complete the last third of the alphabet, but it certainly didn’t deter him. It helped his teacher’s hands were warm and gentle, often lingering intentionally on his own (it was also half the reason he was having so much trouble remembering most of them).

The notepad was finally pushed back, and though he expected all of them, it was probably Tai’s genuine enthusiasm that left Qrow feeling endeared rather than annoyed as he read, trying to contain his grin.

Are you younger or older? Identical? Have you two been switching on me this whole time without telling me? Can you read each other’s minds? Most importantly: Who’s the evil twin?

I’m younger. Not identical, but Raven’s definitely the evil twin. She can read my mind, sometimes, but she can do that with everyone. I’m pretty sure she’s actually an alien.

Tai scribbled back, You think everyone’s an alien. Really though, what’s it like having a sibling?

Qrow twirled the pen between his fingers like a baton as he gave the question some honest consideration before writing, Like having a best friend and worst enemy rolled into one. Rae gets on my nerves constantly and she can be unbearable to live with, but she’ll always be the first person I tell all my secrets to.

Sounds profound.

He wondered if it would be too weird to ask if he could save this page for himself, even as he replied, You should come to my dorm sometime. I could introduce you.

It was rare he ever saw Tai blush. He was suddenly very committed to making it happen more often. The blond started to write before shaking his head, quickly slashing it out and saying instead, I’d like that.

Yet, no matter how well the words were blacked out, Qrow truly was at least quarter-part hellion, because he had been reading as it was being written and filed the idea away for future use.

To what, your tongue?

~

December 2nd, 1967

“How. About. This?” Qrow said as he moved his hands slowly, then lifted them up to his eyes, circling them like spectacles.

Tai was unamused, making a sharp motion. ‘No way.’

He laughed, waving him down. ‘Joking.’ 

‘Try again.’

“Aright.” Qrow acquisitioned, “This?” This time, he brought his fists together like a heart, before moving them apart, spreading out his fingers as he did so, mimicking a firework.

Still wary of another joke, Tai tilted his head some and asked, ‘Why?’

Qrow reached for the notepad that was never far, writing down, Because you’re like a burst of energy.

He knew he had struck gold, because Tai immediately brightened, signing enthusiastically, ‘Love it!’

Rather pleased, he settled back against his headboard, scanning over the page which was full of broken sentences and single words. They’d been at it for a good hour but deciding on their name signs had been wicked cool. It felt like a secret handshake almost. Thankfully, Tai was also determined to be a bit more creative than simply making a bird that any teenybopper with a flashlight could imitate. Instead, he had curved the index and middle fingers of his right hand sideways, while placing the index of his left at the base of them.

Like a scythe. Qrow reread, brushing his thumb over the text. Because you’re dangerously beautiful.

A hand patting along the bedsheets drew his eyes back to the blond, who either signed ‘What now?’ or ‘What next?’, Qrow wasn’t entirely positive. He lifted the notepad for Tai to read, Can I ask you to try something? When he got the affirmative, he added after it, Can you say my name with your voice?

The response was immediate, Tai making the same motion over and over, ‘No. Nononononon-’ Face turning red, he stopped and hid behind his hands.

“Whoa, whoa.” He sat up, running his hand over the tops of the golden locks until he could see those blue eyes again to sign, ‘Please?’

Tai sighed soundlessly. ‘You’ll laugh.’

‘Probably.’ He chuckled when the other shoved him, repeating, ‘Please?’

The other snuffed like a discontented bull. ‘I’ll try’ Tai straightened up, placing his hand against his throat. He hummed and hawed to get a feel for the sound for a minute, his expression shifting comically as he got used to it, before his lips parted, a confused hiss escaping, “Ccccccoo?”

Qrow tried his best, he really did, but even with his teeth leaving grooves into his bottom lip, nothing could really contain the sudden fit that overcame him.

Tai flushed, looking indignant as he signed harsh repeats. ‘Jerk. Jerk, jerk, jerk!’

“I’m sorry!” He said, signing it adamantly but the blond looked away from him, obviously peeved. Qrow waited until he wasn’t going to laugh in his face again, reaching out to cup his hand under Tai’s chin, gently pulling his gaze back his way. Not quailing under the glare, he said, ‘Thank you.’

His lips pursed some, almost a pout, and his shoulders relaxed. But, he didn’t let him completely off the hook as he snatched up the notepad, pointing at, Can I ask you to try something?

Well, that was probably fair. Qrow nodded, “Yeah, sure.”

The book made a soft thump as it was tossed back to the sheets. Tai began to move his hands in a slow manner whenever he was worried Qrow wouldn’t understand. He pointed to himself.

“Me.” Qrow sounded out. Two movements, one blending into the next as Tai closed his hand and pointed at him, “And you.”

Boyishly shy as if it were their first meeting all over again, Tai hesitated, before tapping his index and middle finger against his own lips.

Oh.

Suddenly, the fact that they had been alone in his dorm room for over an hour and hadn’t been making out the whole time seemed like a great misuse of a Saturday afternoon.

‘Yes,’ Qrow replied unsteadily, whole body feeling electrified as if he’d truly become a bird that had just landed on a live wire. Tai was eyeing his shaking hand uncertainly, so he repeated the acceptance more vigorously, nodding with it.

The blond chuckled with that breathy, huffing laugh of his, own smile trembly with nerves. The bedsprings creaked as he shifted closer, fingers drawing a warm pattern from Qrow’s forehead down to his chin but just scant inches away, he hesitated. It was hard to tell if it was inexperience or jitters making him freeze, but Qrow reached up, hand covering the one on his chin, fingers slipping into Tai’s as he tilted his head and closed the rest of the distance between them.

The first kiss was chaste, their lips slightly winter-chapped but warm, lasting only a few seconds before they were pulling back. Squeezing his hand, Tai pulled his away only to sign ‘again?’. His expression was delightfully starstruck. Qrow grinned, clutching Tai’s sweater and leading him back in.

By the fourth kiss, Tai stopped checking.

By the sixth, a swipe of Qrow’s tongue along his lips had Tai jerking back, eyes wide in surprise, only to eagerly dive in for a seventh.

By the time his sister walked in, he had lost count, too preoccupied by trying to make the blond moan again to keep track.

“Well, aren’t you two disgusting?” Raven said, shutting the door behind her.

He lurched out of Tai’s lap, glaring crossly at her. A moment later, the blond realized she was there too and yelped. The noise was so unexpected it made both of the twins jump.

“Whoa, hey,” Qrow placed a hand on his arm to get his attention. “It’s okay. It’s okay. This is Raven.” He said, carefully fingerspelling her name. He’d practiced it enough, preparing for when he’d introduce them – though, he certainly hadn’t meant for it to be like this.

The panic slowly melted away to understanding, quickly followed by absolute mortification. Still, Tai made the effort to offer her a greeting wave.

The way Raven eyed him, smirking with gleeful smugness, only seemed to increase his intimidation. “Ah, so he does have blue eyes.”

Making a mental note to explain things later, Qrow gave Tai a pitying pat, before turning back to his sister. “Thought you said you were gonna be out.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not sticking around.” Her nose wrinkled, not hard to guess what nasty scenarios she was envisioning. “I just need the keys to the Chevy, then I’m gonna split.” He snatched up the keyring on his nightstand and tossed them her way. She caught them easily, waving as she headed back for the exit, “Have fun!”

He almost just left it at that. Almost.

Instead he called after her, “Where are you going?”

“Draft card burning.”

“Another one?”

Her hand hovered above the doorknob, before slowly pulling away as she turned to him, demeanor predatory in the way she stared him down. “Got a problem with that?”

Raven’s scare tactics had never worked on him before. They certainly weren’t going to now. “Yeah I got a problem with it!” Qrow snapped back, air quoting ‘problem’ for emphasis as he got to his feet, facing her down. “You shouldn’t be going to them. People are getting killed.” When her only response was to roll her eyes, his anger flared. “Raven, I’m serious!”

Her voice rose with his. “And I’m not?! For every one of us shot, ten more of our brothers are being gunned down across the sea!”

“That’s not your problem to solve!”

“No, it’s all of ours, you’re just too oblivious to see it. If you won’t stand with me, then fine!” She stepped forward, snarling in his face, “But you damn well better not stand in my way.”

Even before he responded, he knew what he’d say would be childish; Raven was the only one who made him feel like he had to resort to the tactics of a twelve-year-old. “Oh, I’m oblivious?! You really think anyone’s gonna listen to some stupid girl that thinks handing out a bunch of flowers can stop a war?”

They were about as effective too, because she hardly faltered. “You’ll thank this ‘stupid girl’ when it saves your ass from being next.” A scoff. “Just like always.”

Somehow, that stung. “Don’t act so full of yourself.”

“You know I’m right.” Raven turned away, clearly done with him. “These protests can’t stop until the day our troops are sent home.” She yanked open the door, tossing back at him, “We’re fighting a useless war. And the sooner the rest of the world sees that, the better.”

Then she was gone, nothing left but the snap of the latch catching to echo her departure.

Qrow stood there, fists shaking where they curled tightly at his sides, blood running hot in his veins. So caught up in his turbulent emotions, he almost forgot he wasn’t alone until a warm hand caught his wrist. Looking over, he was met with Tai’s earnest concern. It took some effort, but he managed to relax his hands, enough to sign a quick, ‘Sorry.’

The apology was quickly dismissed, the blond guiding him back to his bed. Both of them sat on the edge. ‘The war?’ The blond guessed, fingerspelling the second word for him.

‘Yeah,’ He replied halfheartedly.

‘Do you want to talk about it?’

As answer, Qrow mutely slipped his hand into Tai’s, tangling their fingers into a tight grip.

~

March 30th, 1968

The trunk was popped open, a duffle bag being set down inside. Qrow peeked at it around Tai’s arm, inching his hand towards it.

Smack!

He recoiled quickly, shaking out the imaginary pain.

‘Naughty.’ Tai signed.

He winked back. ‘You know it.’

The trunk was shut before he could make any more attempts, the blond swinging the keyring on his finger as he made his way to the driver’s side of the Chevy. Qrow hopped in on the other side, watching quietly as the other adjusted the mirror and got the car started. Before he put it in reverse though, Tai caught his eye. ‘Nervous?’ He asked.

‘Somewhat.’ Qrow admitted; because really, how would someone go about teaching a deaf guy how to drive anyhow?

His smile was reassuring. ‘Trust me.’

So, he did. Mostly. And if he clutched onto the car door for the first ten minutes of the drive, it was only because the Chevy was getting ricketier with age and certainly did not have anything to do with the violent imagery of death-by-car rolling through his head like a B-grade horror show.

It wasn’t until they hit the highway that Qrow allowed himself to truly relax. Boredom set in soon after and with little else to do, he pulled out his sociology textbook to take the notes he would need for his dissertation on how Darwinist societies were dystopias in disguise. Maybe, when he finished it, he’d mail it off to his mother just to tick her off. Though, he was sure her response would be less about the words on the page and more about the name on the return address.

His lips quirked in a slight smile, knowing if he told Raven she’d cheer him on. Maybe even provide the stamp.

Well, that is, if she would talk to him.

Qrow sighed, trying to focus on the words on the page and not the daunting tension that had leaked into his everyday life. Since the turn of the year, with nothing but the heat of the Battle of Khe Sanh on every channel and the growing violence against MLK’s protestors in every paper, it felt like the entire world was ready spin off its axis. Each daily report only seemed to further his sister’s resolve to act even crazier than the most insane person in an asylum, because now she was considering dropping out of school altogether to go onto some ‘peace-spreading road trip’ across the country. She refused to listen to reason, no matter how much he hollered at her about how she was throwing her future down the drain.

It had been a week since that fight and they hadn’t said a word to one another since. It seemed they’d both concluded that the first one who did was admitting they were wrong; and both of them were surely too stubborn to do that. He wasn’t expecting any apologies; Raven never said sorry to anyone. But the stifling silence between them was dismaying.

It felt like he was losing his best friend, and he didn’t know what to do.

A gentle nudge on his shoulder drew his attention, and he looked up, realizing they were stopped at a light. Tai gestured his way. ‘You alright?’

Qrow smiled. At least he had him. ‘Yes.’ He replied. ‘Just thinking.’

The blond wasn’t fooled for a moment, but let it go with a simple nod and turned his attention back on the road.

The rest of the drive went by without event, though Qrow had some distinct concerns when they turned off the main pathway and started weaving their way up into the network of mountains that bordered the eastern side of Santa Cruz. Once the paving ran out, Tai parked on a level patch of land, signing enthusiastically, ‘We’re here!’ before he jumped out of the car.

They were? When suggesting going on a getaway for the weekend, the man had been rather scarce about the details, wanting to surprise him. Now, as Qrow peered out the windshield at the thick groves of trees all around them, he realized that either they were going camping or Tai had been secretly planning his murder this whole time.

Snorting at his own imagination, he climbed out, heading to the back of the car where Tai was shouldering the bag with ease. ‘Ready for a walk? It’s not too far.’

‘Lead the way.’ He said. Yet, when the blond turned and started to hike into the forest, Qrow found he couldn’t help himself when faced with the other’s shapely backside, reaching out and delivering a teasing smack along the other’s ass.

Tai jumped, emitting a little yelp that had Qrow cracking up. He whirled back around, a mischievous gleam in his blue eyes the only warning before he was sweeping him right off his feet. Surprised, Qrow shrieked before dissolving into laughter, winding his arms across Tai’s shoulders. The blond was grinning brilliantly, leaning forward to capture his lips in a searing kiss that had him humming with pleasant appreciation.

When he was set back on his feet, they headed up the trail together this time, fingers intertwined between them.

Despite it being mid-afternoon, the forest floor was fairly dark, the early hints of spring causing dense overgrowth of the maple and redwood trees and blocking out most of the sunlight to where it could only dapple along the brush they waded through. He could hear the faintest rushing noise of a nearby stream that had likely only just broken through the remaining winter frost. The birds were awake as well, the faint warbles of loon birds and the trills of song sparrows being particularly loud. Just as they were passing over a patch of wildflowers, Tai nudged him excitedly as he pointed out an adolescent deer just before it leaped out of sight. They kept their eyes out for other creatures after that, but other than a few scurrying squirrels, didn’t see anything too outstanding.

It didn’t matter as shortly thereafter, Qrow knew they’d reached their destination when Tai waved him on and sprinted up a sloping ridge. He was a little slower, not entirely trusting himself to not trip, but as he came up over the crest, he was suddenly breathless, uttering nothing more than a soft, “Whoa.”

It was like walking out of realty and into a fantasyland. They were at the edge of a cliff on the mountainside, the land below them nothing but hills full of trees and thickening mist that clung to the valley like a gentle blanket. As he stepped as close as he dared, he looked down, seeing the jagged edges of rock and the sheer drop descending into the fog. Instead of inciting fear, it was freeing, as if he was standing on top of the entire world from here.

‘Beautiful, right?’ Tai signed.

‘Yeah.’ He replied.

‘Wait until sunset.’ He grinned, before walking away, leaving Qrow to take in the sight. A clapping eventually prompted him to turn away though, only to see Tai spreading his arms to showcase the yellow-patterned quilt he’d placed along the ground with its simple lunch of sandwiches, set right in the middle and waiting for them. This was almost like a fantasy too; having a picnic in the mountains. Even as he sat with the other and took his first bite, everything felt so unreal.

‘How did you find this place?’ He asked.

Tai seemed to think over how to answer, before pulling out the notebook and pen they always kept on hand when the signs got too complicated. Before my Volks tanked, I used to drive out as far as I could go. This is one of my favorite places.

There was a line break, and then he continued on a new paragraph. The summer before college started, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. So, I packed up a bunch of my stuff and just started driving. Found a bunch of small towns. Hit up LA, Vegas, the canyons. I think I even crossed the border at one point.

Though he was certain he already knew, Qrow asked, ‘Alone?’

He nodded. ‘I just felt so lost. I thought if I just kept going, eventually I’d find my way.’

‘Did you find what you were looking for?’

‘No.’ Tai signed back, expression gentling, ‘I found it when I came back.’

For the second time today, Qrow felt breathless. Awash with sudden boldness, he said, ‘Next time, let’s go together.’

Smile widening, he replied, ‘I’d like that.’

The next few hours were spent exploring the surrounding forest. They hopped across flat stones sticking up above the rushing stream and dared one another to climb up one of the low-hanging oak trees. They kept looking for other animals, which was mostly a bust except for a half dozen different birds. Though, Qrow did happen upon one spectacular find hiding in the roots of a tree that he managed to scoop up into his hands. When he revealed the tarantula to Taiyang, he almost couldn’t stop laughing at the girly scream the other emitted as he jerked back and fell into the brush.

As dusk grew near, they headed back to their spot. They sat near the edge, bundled up together in the quilt to keep away the brisk chill that still came with nightfall. They watched as the sun fell below the horizon, the mist having turned into a dense, rolling fog that seemed soft enough to jump on and hued with the colors reflected in the sky. And as an arm came around his waist, holding him close, Qrow found that he’d never felt so content in his life.

‘Thank you,’ He told Tai later, when night had truly fallen and they were instead laying along the quilt to stargaze.

‘For?’ Qrow had to squint some to read the question, nothing but a battery powered lamp behind them and the moon above left for light.

‘I needed this.’ He turned onto his side to face him more fully as he added, ‘I’m glad you’re here.’

As answer, Tai cupped his face in his hand and brought him into a tender kiss, thumb caressing his cheek. After a few moments, he pulled back, but Qrow didn’t let him go far, dragging him into another. Just like that fateful Saturday in his dorm room, and the many, more amazing sessions afterwards, they quickly became drunk on each other. Strong arms hefted him up off the ground, Tai allowing his body to rest atop his own.

Qrow nibbled at a strong jawline, dipping down to suck along his neck and hearing how the other’s breathing grew heavy. He also grew daring, because his hands wandered an unhurried path down his back to the curve of his ass, squeezing. Arousal jolted through him, Qrow burying his head into the other’s collar just to gather himself a moment. When he felt a bit more in control, he lifted his head to look at Tai.

And god, was he beautiful. His lips were swollen and thoroughly kissed, his face lightly flushed and blue eyes dark with passion as he stared up at him. And when they came together again, when Tai moaned softly into his mouth as their tongues tangled, when one hand twisted into his hair while the other still squeezed his ass, Qrow knew with absolutely certainty that he was moments away from ripping off all their clothes and claiming Tai as his own.

So, it took all his willpower to tap his hand along Tai’s arm twice, their personal signal to hold on. The other’s look of confusion was hard to face even as he obediently drew back.

‘Are you alright?’ Tai asked.

‘Yes.’ He sat up, his knees straddling the other’s waist to give them a little space. Qrow’s hands were as nervous as he was, starting and stopping his signs as he tried to find the right way to ask what he needed to. ‘I just – What do you – How… how far do you want to go?’

Again, the answer was given in action, Tai reaching out to capture his hands before slowly, deliberately guiding them down to rest on the buckle of his belt.

Qrow swallowed hard, heart picking up speed. When his hands were freed, he rose one of them. ‘You’re sure?’

‘Yes.’ Tai replied and the way he smiled at him, so tender, so fond, was almost too much. ‘I trust you, Qrow.’

An emotion tided through him, so strong and immense, it threatened to overspill from his heart and Qrow couldn’t wait another moment to say it. As his hands moved through the signs, he couldn’t help but speak it aloud as well, even if he’d be the only one to hear it: “Tai, I love you.”

At first, Tai was too overcome to respond, hands hovering in silence between them. Then he was sitting up, and it was only the way he suddenly caught him around his waist that kept Qrow from being pitched right out of his lap. Instead, he was pulled so close it felt like their bodies would meld together and swept up in a kiss so intense he swore he saw fireworks behind his eyes. It ignited his own soul so that even when they pulled back, the intensity was still there, their gazes smoldering as they looked upon one another.

‘Me too.’ Tai reciprocated fervidly. ‘Now, show me.’

And so Qrow did, capturing Tai’s lips once more as he laid him back along the quilt and made love to him under the stars.  

~

April 4th, 1968

Qrow would have done anything to have stayed in that fantasyland where society was so far removed it couldn’t touch them and he and Tai could dance along the top of the world forever.

But, they couldn’t.

Eventually, they packed everything up and drove home to the San Fran, going back about their daily lives as they always did.

And, six days later, Martin Luther King was assassinated.

The world fell off its axis and spun out of control.

~

April 6th, 1968

It happened just a half hour before closing.

Qrow, Summer and Tai were the only ones in the shop. After the news had hit, business had stalled, too many people either too afraid to leave their homes or too infuriated that they were rioting in the streets. It was both a blessing and a curse for what came next.

He remembered how it happened so clearly: He was just undoing the notch to the coffee machine to clean the filter for the night, when the thunderous noise of the storefront window shattering filled the air.

Summer screamed, dropping to the floor.

Qrow cursed, bruising his hip against the counter as he lurched back against it, whirling around to see that a third of café rosé was already ablaze. He fell to his knees when another window was broken out, the flames intensifying as a second Molotov cocktail exploded along the floor. He reached out, partially covering Summer’s body with his own, feeling her trembling in fear as she covered her head.

A second scream made his heart drop. “TAI!” He yelled uselessly, only to see the blond vault himself up over the counter before ducking behind it. His eyes were wide with fear, but otherwise appeared to be okay.

But they had to get out of there.

The heat from the fire was already searing, and his voice choked on it as he hauled Summer up off the ground and shoved her towards the exit first. “Come on, the back door!” He pointed as expressively as he could for Tai, who thankfully got the idea and chased after them.

They rushed out of the door, b-lining for the campus rather than the street where the strikes had come from and, when they were far enough away to be both safe from them and the fire, Qrow pushed Summer into Tai’s arms, signing, “Watch her! I’ll get help!” Though pale-faced and wide-eyed, Tai nodded, holding onto the terrified woman tightly. Qrow ran as fast as he could for the nearest telephone, almost pulling out the cord in his panic as he called for the fire department.

No matter how fast he was, there was no saving the shop.

The three of them sat in the grass just inside the police barrier, watching the firefighters fight a losing battle as the flames overtook the roof of the building. The sight had attracted the attention of the whole campus, the entirety of the student body standing in the field to get a look at the tragedy. The officers were doing their best to ward the bolder ones from inching too close.

“What am I going to tell my parents?” Summer sobbed as she twisted the folds of her skirt in her hands. “They poured everything into this place!”

From one side, Tai was just trying his best to comfort her as he rubbed her back.

“Hey now, it, it’ll be okay.” Qrow, on her other, tried as well.

“How?!” She burst out.

He didn’t know. He turned away from her, helplessness weighing him as she continued to cry.

He just didn’t know.

Wanting nothing more than to block out the horrendousness around him, he shut his eyes.

“Qrow!”

Only for them to snap open in surprise, head jerking around to pinpoint the location of that yell.

“Hey lady, you can’t-”

“Get out of my way!”

He spotted Raven just as she was jabbing her elbow into an officer’s ribs, breaking past his guard to rush across the grass. “Qrow!!”

He was on his feet and rushing to meet her instantly, almost being bowled over by the force in which she collided with him.

“You idiot! I thought, I thought!” Her fist slammed into his chest, fighting back tears, “Idiot!!”

“I know, I know. I’m okay though.” Qrow held her tightly, whispering soothingly into her hair. “I’m okay.”

She laughed, the notes strained. “Good. Because you’re not allowed to die until I say so.”

And as he laughed and cried with her, found that for all that was wrong in the world, one missing piece fell back into place and made it just a little more right again.

~

Palo Alto

October 14th, 1981

The first thing that greeted Qrow as he opened the front door to his home was Zwei, the three-year old Corgi yapping hello. “Hey stubby.” He lent down to give him a few affectionate pats, following him through the entryway and into the family room where he could hear the TV running.

Tai was looking much like a yellow roly-poly from the way he was bundled up on the couch in his old quilt. He was watching the screen with rapt attention but when he caught movement in the corner of his eye, he glanced over, brightening immediately. ‘Welcome home!’

‘How are you feeling?’ Qrow asked as he approached, running his fingers through sweat-soaked blond locks. Fever was still going strong then.

‘Furious!’ He signed back harshly. ‘Did you see what Greg just did?!’

He glanced at the TV, realizing a rerun of The Brady Bunch was playing. At the bottom of the screen, the closed captioning was giving the play-by-play of what the characters were saying. The dialogue encoder had been a bit of a strain on their Christmas budget last year (especially when they both still insisted on spoiling their niece and honorary niece rotten), but nothing was worth more than having Tai so overjoyed he was in tears as he swept Qrow up in his arms.

Of course, that also meant that the blond had taken a near permanent residence on the couch as he tried to make up for 35 years of television.

‘You really need to get off the sitcoms.’ He signed to him. ‘Watch sci-fi instead.’

‘Never!’ Tai huffed loudly, only to start coughing, curling up a bit more into his nest.

‘Medicine?’ Qrow asked him once the fit had passed.

‘Please.’

With a nod, he headed into the kitchen. As he poured the cough syrup into the little plastic cap, a jangle of tags told him a shadow had trailed after him. Sure enough, when he looked down, Zwei had his front paws perched on the cabinet door, looking up at him hopefully. “I’m pretty sure you don’t want this buddy.” He joked as he filled a glass with water next. He took pity on the dog all the same, opening the fridge and throwing him a slice of cheese before heading back into the other room.

Though it wasn’t anything even remotely as good as coffee, Tai thanked him all the same, a full-body shudder wracking him as he downed the revolting medicine and chased it with the water. Qrow sat down beside him, leaning back into the cushions. He draped his arm along the back of the couch so the blond could more easily nestle against his side, the two of them watching the rest of the episode together. It wasn’t a very good one, and Qrow found himself zoning out, carding his fingers through Tai’s hair absently as his mind wandered.

“Qrow?”

The croaky, too-soft whisper pulled him out of his trance, and he blinked at the television, realizing the end credits were rolling. He tilted his head to the one who had spoken, not entirely surprised to see his ever-observant partner had already caught onto his sour mood. ‘Sorry.’

‘What’s wrong?’

He shifted back, just enough to free his other arm. ‘Ciel came into class crying today.’

‘Henry?’ Tai guessed, straightening up as well.

He breathed out an irate sigh. ‘Yep. Broke up with her this morning.’

They had both seen it coming from the very first day the couple had joined their ASL class. A vehicular accident had left the petite Hindi woman partially deaf and her doctor had suggested learning sign to help adjust. Tai and he had done their best to give the two some special attention, knowing the transition was hard, but Henry’s participation in the lessons was lackluster at best and Qrow had to keep running interference when the entitled brat kept trying to push Ciel into Cochlear Implants, having to remind them both again and again that it was a high cost, body-blemishing and, most importantly, experimental surgery.

It especially wasn’t worth undergoing it all for a sleaze that wasn’t worth hearing in the first place.

‘What gets me most is his reasoning. Told her it was taking too long to learn.’ Qrow carried on, rolling his eyes. ‘What did he expect? To learn it overnight?! Jackass!’

Amusement gleamed in Tai’s eyes. ‘Not everyone has your patience Qrow.’

‘I’M NOT EVEN PATIENT!’ He replied explosively. Tai reached out, capturing and bringing down his hands, rubbing soothing motions along his knuckles. Every now and again, his finger would catch along the silver ring on Qrow’s right hand; it was one he’d worn for over a decade now, ever since it was given to him by the very same man sitting beside him. It was only a promise ring, but to him, it was as interchangeable as a wedding ring.

His partner’s thoughts must have been somewhere similar, pausing to drop a kiss along the metal band before letting him go to say, ‘You were for me. I’ve never had anyone in my life work so hard to talk to me like you have. That’s always meant the world to me.’

Tai had told him this at least a dozen times before, and Qrow responded in the same, flustered way he always did: ‘Yeah well, how else was I supposed to tell you I love you?’

Instead of teasing him more as he usually did, the blond paused, giving the question some honest thought. ‘Maybe… like this?’

And then, for the second time that day, Tai spoke.

“Love you, Qrow.”

Qrow felt his jaw unhinge, staring back at him in absolute shock as his brain subsequently short-circuited. What?! It had taken Tai years just to be able to say his name as well as he could. When-? How??

With a smile still as full of youth as the day they met, his partner signed, ‘Happy anniversary.’

Qrow sucked in a sharp breath, hardly able to breathe as love sang throughout every inch of him.

And then he found himself tackling Tai down onto the couch, suddenly quite determined to kiss all that love right into him.

The blond managed to fend him off long enough to say, ‘Wait! I’m still sick!’

‘Don’t care. It’s worth it.’ Qrow allowed himself a moment to enjoy the fond way the other looked upon him, before bringing their lips together once more.

Tai would always be worth it.

And if anyone asked Qrow, he’d still tell them patience was for those who couldn’t figure out how to do things quickly.

He’d also tell them it wasn’t patience that one needed when loving someone.

Because patience was a fickle, thin thing too easily broken.

No.

What was needed wasn’t patience; it was perseverance.

The drive to never give in or give up, no matter the strife or uncertainties faced, whether it be several years of vigilant study just to effectively communicate with his deaf partner without need of a pen and paper on hand.

Or, just dealing with a terrible case of the flu come morning.

[the-firebird69]

bja left high and dry his run into chasms.  and he is weak.  so grabbe this just now and prepares to fire on selected targets. and is mean.  means to hit here nearby...and we cant have it. nope and he is off and this is it he dies now.  fully  if we can.  his top generals all there. all will die. and  he begins the countdown...and is counting silently  and he hits death stars and hits ships and curascant and his are there and trumps but mostly trump.  and they agreed no said he was is a blaspheme. and they fire on him shorlty he let loose one great beam and he is not dead did not jump.  and then re arm target that area. and nobody will and he screams it..and they push him into the cravass. he falls and they are fried nope.   says reload they do.  and for real he wishes to target punta gorda and fort meyers and sarasota to clear t and kidnap him.  use him as a hostage.  and he says this round signals it.  we hear ti warm and fire.  he is out. and it is not bg who fired...no it is.  we say this bg knew it was his threat but that is not why he says he is our freind i defend him and moves in shortly..though the controls are fried he wishes to go to manual and yeh to hit nearby  him and they are nuts and lost it. right down the line really macs too try for it.  but no. it is down he fried the controls but....the controls are also in the channels and are secure too. and under the stone.  it is repowering. and yes Gort is there and the Female Gort and more. tons more. of us.  and they are aghast send over fleets cork is up out shortly and bg is fighitng rey his sister and others fight sebastian is ther efighting rey for it.  hue lots of them die and infighting...and it is a sick mess.  he says this is why trump did it..and they agree.and try. and then this no you dont and the empire hits them and blwos up the woods.  and yes makes a cravas no that is other but yeh a huge explosion.  and it is on they yell hey. and are out no the cruiser is macs he hit too cork and others fried them all yu fers suk so badly you hit all our stuff not one target on my list.  and now my fleets.  firing like mad now te star killer is up and aremed hits all targts.  blasts curuscant and takes out huge lasers and hits reflectors it doesnt control tons about five k thusfar  and only a few more thousand and now out none there. and they are slow dimwitted people.  and other planetoids act.  no sit.  and they are now engaging another palnetoud gamemede and it is designed to cut throuhg the layer and it is miels thick and vaboom in and hits and baboom and more and tons of times huge lasers up in smoke tons see it and it hits rapidly.  and tommy a is not out  ok fell sees i t passes out from pain.  then this we get you caa and from here and oh we get ou now ok idiots. and we hit here and we htyou you idiot. oh.  and now we see they are dumb.  rebels targeted nope.  tons of empire targets are hit and yes reflectors move over to curascant. now too and fast and he is empire trump cork is but not that mch and mac wnts trump out but loses death stars.  is in truolbe .  we fire on tons of targets at Gamemede adn the  cool helps immensely we than him he is proud. and boom targets blow.  and more hits now.  andout now you two you sie w empire ok we see.  enough.  and trumps ships not hit yet.  the ground forces were are. and his ships move to attack Hoth and positionnow heat warm and the star Killer hits.  destroys one utterly the others flee.  it is powerful and doped well. tons of doping. and they go now to brazil or near it and collect.  and tons of the ruby red.  and we hit.  they are out soon....and finally they blab there. this is it huge hits and all over..ins pace will b.  and ok that is all no but we see.  mostly planetooids.   adn it is huge though.  massithve hits. and cork is out now. and flies out. and mac fled saw it heat and aim at him. he said adios. adn left adn the fleets move in.  and are terrorized by it goes wide flattens them all and in wide areas out..or on fire depending on armor. bills and wills are not armored as well and were thick many feet.  and they burn. alight lots see them...and rutguer hower says it later..i have seen this stuff and yu say these words to me.....mac its mac.  and he looks i think. and tells you o no and fired on cork and smiles saw it too. huge battles..massive bright balls. impressive yes.  and to him yes.  a culmination of all his lifes work and mine. and it is a sight....huge epiteths no are having fun and a rebel party well ok and we see Hera goes up and starts it off...some empire costumes. and they have drinks adn setup streets and more and says ok and then this is it safe and they say ok  we cahnge it if need be fast.  the streets look like china vendors all over and stores and food and fun tons of rebel stuff and rebel drinks and from far away and we needed this we are in and told  her and yes.  and what is it a huge rebel party and good and we hae them too and it is on we are here. michael Keegan says..and not his real name prob like Hawas yes it is similar like Hawan no lol ahhaah Hawain no damnt and fun costumes sabers and makin them buy sell cosply and tons of realistic ones.  used and new hug elots and garth is htere sells the towable for Sim and hitch mount installs real fast.  bolts on. can do it onsite and setup a shop...tons see it.  has  a dyno too.  we u se it now and garth is pleased sees  he is respected. the star killer fires..and fires and fires and then this we hit now and macs are grouping nearby and the rebels see it and are on alert as they are called away to arty and up now and at them hard real fightersnow and it is mean angry  and the star killer hits death stars. and thre are real rebels at it.  firing. tons cant see who. it is not obvious.   then they land some big ones and hit. the empire does on rebel bases say stop and nope.  and at it again. and then this. we hit youru hometown of missorui and meaninghere and so the middle and we hit you and blam they are hit. out too. other shps move near and try blam and are hit and we move in hit them all and out they go.  giant empire ships hit.  huge ones. and out.  and we fire madly.  now. too. tons try for death stars no good.   we hit now. and trump circled back and he is out   sticks it out and loses. and then this we are not hit by monsters. nope. and then this again who is sauing that and us. ok.  and it fires. hits the ships are out and damaged two done and one escapes.  and trump is slwo forgetshow to fire. and he has a few ships left well about nine.they say oh number nine.  and then this you shut up. and we see. and curascant was his now it iwanes and so was gamemed and hoth no more are out soon. well it has commencced.  fighitng. and tons of it. huge lots in. huge.  tons of them.  gigantic ships hit of empire and rebel and the low lifes  and tons done and trump is less three ships well two adn a half i t limps back he is not happy, breaks radio silence says who. cork suppoedly mac hit him...and they laugh mac did he  is there.  firing on his. and then this who is no im here hes there. and it is skinny the man here tommy f who is not my son anymore. ok.  you oaf. your not letting me succeed he says. we see. tons fire now. huge huge lots.  and at the star killer and we see it will fall shortly, are out momentarily.  but first we use it on a lower setting ad spray them all hits and they are disabled and we hit large groupoings.  firing rapidly and it fires fst and is poerful again. then they retort and hit part of i t. slows it to half speed still fast. adn firing in ten seconds.  and soon...warms an wamo they hit most of th e attackers the rest flee. out now.  warms and fires out.  tons of reloading.    a huge huge fleet about ten nonillion good sized cruisers ten to fifteen miles upt to five  hundred and then trummps three mega ships all beat by us.  and all empire hmm and then this who the hell is firing that thing they are proficient. and we see him nope.  then this.  who.  and nobody can say and it warms now. slowly hums.  finally it is up and runs.  hits the remainingships adn out soon. we fire to exhustion and reload no but close. now reloading on the fly need it.  tons of it in tosn out.  fast too. and between hits  it is on here we fire on you s.  and they balk ok. and fire back and laugh.  not really. and then this we are sitting ducks and they say prove it. seastian will and hit us lol.and ok dummy Sebastian says.  weher  and when.  this planet and you alone with your gear...ok ok i can not alone. and you bring a crew.  so e do this ok.  and we fire tons on them and reload.  tons.  fster adn yes we see Thor Freya Zues Hera mac daddy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HmWDdmTAE8

[fatt-twitter-updates]

Part 4 of this thread (posts in this thread are tagged itchio on this blog)

Before we even had a "Live at the Table" Patreon tier, we did a live game of Lasers & Feelings. Its simplicity means you could pick it up right now and have a great time. https://johnharper.itch.io/lasers-feelings

Also, it's been hacked a ton, so check these out too: https://itch.io/physical-games/tag-lasers-and-feelings

BFF! takes the prompt-based design of Fall of Magic and applies it to youthful adventures in the real world. We did our first ever live audience show (at SHUX 2018) with it and had a blast!

It is incredibly funny (and inspiring) to me that the co-author of the gruesome Heart: The City Beneath also designed Honey Heist, a game about bears making a complex plan to steal a large amount of delicious honey.

Playing Stewpot was without a question some of the most fun I've had with TTRPGs lately. Here's what I told Polygon about it last December:

https://noroadhome.itch.io/stewpot-tales-from-a-fantasy-tavern

[ID: screenshot of a section of a Polygon article, the text reads:

Austin Walker

Host of Friends at the Table and Waypoint Radio

In a year of constant strife, frustration, and exhaustion, is it any wonder that my favorite tabletop role-playing game is a game about fantasy heroes putting down their swords and staves and retiring?

Stewpot: Tales from a Fantasy Tavern by Takuma Okada takes the excellent Firebrands: Mobile Frame Zero, with its scene-setting, characterization-heavy minigames, as a starting place. But instead of playing as mecha rivals in a dramatic duel, you play old adventuring comrades on the hunt for great ingredients. Players create archetypal fantasy heroes, and then guide them as they adapt to life in the kitchen, the garden, the market, and the town. It’s a little melancholy, very cozy, and easily the most charming game I played this year. end ID]

Anomaly takes some of the structure of The Quiet Year and blends it with the sinister supernatural investigations of things like SCP and Control.

In Beak, Feather, and Bone, you start with an already drawn but unlabeled map of a city. As you draw cards, you and your friends (representing different parts of a bird-person society) fill in the details and add complications. It is a joy.

Bell Songs is one of the most slept on games on this list. It's a Redwall-style game about being animals on adventure. Its design allows for a ton of open-ended fun, but also some considered decision making when conflict arises!

Spoken Magic feels like as sister game to Fall of Magic. As a group of wizards, you travel from place to place, using spell-words to create and solve problems. If you're like us, you'll use it to be rude and boisterous mages and have a great time.

(posts in this thread are tagged itchio on this blog)

[suzanneshannon]

The Thirteenth Fourth

Well boy howdy. The 13th birthday of CSS-Tricks has rolled around. A proper teenager now, howabouthat? I always take the opportunity to do a bit of a state of the union address at this time, so let’s get to it!

Design

Technically, we’re still on v17 of the site design. This was the first design that I hired first-class help to do, and I’m still loving it, so I haven’t had much of an itch to do massive changes to it. Although it is quite different¹ today than it was on launch day.

For example…

The search experience is totally different, as it is powered by Jetpack’s Instant Search now.

The Almanac pages (e.g. background-blend-mode) have an additional sidebar that helps you navigate between pages

I re-did the typography using Hoefler&Co. Sentinel and Ringside. The monospace font code snippets are in Operator Mono and the logo has long-been Gotham Rounded, so it feels like one big happy family of typefaces.

Maybe next year we’ll do something different again. My list is starting to grow for some behind-the-scenes tech stuff I wanna re-jigger, and sometimes that goes hand in hand with redesign work.

Closed Forums

The forums on this site have been a mental weight on me for literally years. Earlier this year I finally turned them off. They are still there, and probably always will be (so the URLs are maintained), but nobody can post new threads or replies.

It was a painful move. Even as I did it, there was still some regular daily activity there and I’m sure it didn’t feel good to those people to have a place they have invested time in shut down. Here’s why I did it:

Nobody here, including me, checked in on the forums with any regularity. Unmoderated public forums on the internet are not acceptable to me.

The spam volume was going up. There were periods where most posts, even after the automatic spam blocking I get from Akismet, where spam that required manual removal. Even if we had a dedicated forums employee, that’s no fun, and since we didn’t, it was just a random job for me and I don’t need a time sink like that.

The forums represent a certain level of technical debt. They need to be updated. Their design needs to be functional in the context of this site. At one point I ripped out all custom styles and left it be the default theme, which was a good step toward reducing technical debt, but in the end it wasn’t enough.

I can handle some work and some technical debt, of course. But when you combine those things with the fact that the forums don’t contribute much to what I consider to be the success of the site. They don’t exactly drive page views or advertising demand. There isn’t really money to hire help specifically for the forums. But that’s a small part of it. I want this site to help people. I think we can do that best if we focus on publishing with as little divided attention as possible. I think there are places on the internet that are better for forum-like discourse.

Now that they’ve been off a number of months, I can report that the lifting of the mental weight feels very good to me and there is been little if any major negatives.

Social

Here’s another mental weight I lifted: I stopped hand-managing the Twitter account (@css). I still think it’s good that we have a Twitter account (and that we have that cool handle), but I just don’t spend any time on it directly like I used to.

In the past, I’d queue up special articles with commentary and graphics and stuff and make sure the days were full with a spread of what I thought would be interesting tweets about web design and development. That’s fine and all, but it began to feel like a job without a paycheck.

We don’t get (or seem to drive) a lot of traffic from Twitter. Google Analytics shows social media accounts for less than 1% of our traffic. Investing time in “growing” Twitter just doesn’t have enough of an upside for me. Not to mention the obvious: Twitter can be terribly toxic and mentally draining.

So now, all our posts to Twitter are automated through the Jetpack social media connection (we really use Jetpack for tons of stuff). We hit publish on the site and the article is auto-tweeted. So if you use Twitter like an RSS feed of sorts (just show me the news!), you got it.

The result? Our follower count goes up at the same rate it always did. Engagement there is the same, or higher, than it ever was. What a relief. Do ten times less work for the same benefit.

When I have the urge to share a link with commentary I use the same system we’ve always had here: I write it up as a link blog post instead. Now we’re getting even more benefit: long-term content building, which is good for the thing that we actually have on our side: SEO.

Someday we could improve things by hand-writing the auto-tweet text with a bit more joie de vivre, crediting the author more clearly, and, #stretchgoal, a custom or fancy-generated social media graphic.

Opened Up Design Possibilities

One aspect of this site that I’ve been happy with is the opportunity to do custom design on content. Here are some examples of that infrastructure.

On any given blog post, we can pick a template. Some of those templates are very specific. For example, my essay The Great Divide is a template all to itself.

In the code base, I have a PHP template and a CSS file that are entirely dedicated to that post. I think that’s a fine way to handle a post you want to give extra attention to, although the existence of those two files is a bit of technical debt.

I learned something in the creation of that particular essay: what I really need to open up the art direction/design possibility on a post is a simple, stripped-down template to start from. So that’s what we call a “Fancy Post” now, another template choice for any particular post. Fancy Posts have a hero image and a centered column for the content of the post. From there, we can use custom CSS to style things right within WordPress itself.

For example, my recent post on DX is styled as a Fancy Post with Custom CSS applied right within the block editor.

The Block Editor itself is a huge deal for us. That was one of my goals for the year, and we’ve really exceeded how far we’d get with it. I think writing and editing posts in the block editor is a million miles ahead of the old editor.

The hardest challenge was (and still is really) getting the block transforms set up for legacy content. But once you have the power to build and customize blocks, that alone opens up a ton of design possibility within posts that is too big of a pain in the butt and too heavy on technical debt otherwise.

Another door we opened for design possibilities is a classic one: using categories. A sort of freebie you get in WordPress is the ability to create templates for all sorts of things that just sort of automatically work if they are named correctly. So for example I have a filed called category-2019-end-of-year-thoughts.php and that fully gives me control over making landing pages for groups of posts, like our end-of-year thoughts homepage. Not to mention our “Guide Collection” pages which are another way to programmatically build collections of pages.

That’s a lot of tools to do custom work with, and I’m really happy with that. It feels like we’ve given ourselves lots of potential with these tools, and only started taking advantage of it.

Speaking of which, another aspect of custom design we have available is the new book format…

eCommerce

We’re using WooCommerce here on the site now again. I just got done singing the praises of the Block Editor and how useful that is been… WooCommerce is in the same boat. I feel like I’m getting all this powerful functionality with very little effort, at a low cost, and with little technical debt. It makes me very happy to have this site on WordPress and using so much of suite of functionality that offers.

So for one thing, I can sell products with it, and we have products now! Lynn Fisher designed a poster for our CSS Flexbox guide and designed a poster for our CSS Grid guide, which you can now buy and ship anywhere in the world for $25 each. Look, with the Block Editor I can put a block for a poster right here in this post:

CSS Flexbox Poster

Find yourself constantly looking up the properties and values for CSS flexbox? Why not pin this beautiful poster up to the wall of your office so you can just glance over at it?

$25.00

Shop now

Another thing we’re using WooCommerce for is to sell our new book, The Greatest CSS Tricks Vol. I. If we actually made it into a proper eBook format, WooCommerce could absolutely deliver those files digitally to you, but we haven’t done that yet. We’ve take another path, which is publishing the book as chapters here on the site behind a membership paywall we’re calling MVP supporters. The book is just one of the benefits of that.

WooCommerce helps:

Build a membership system and sell memberships. Membership can lock certain pages to members-only as has programmatic hooks I can use for things like removing ads.

Sell subscriptions to those memberships, with recurring billing.

Sell one-off products

And I’m just scratching the surface of course. WooCommerce can do anything eCommerce wise.

Analytics

They are fine. Ha! That’s how much I worry about our general site analytics. I like to check in on them from time to time to make sure we’re not tanking or anything scary, but we never are (knock on wood). We’re in the vicinity of 8m page views a month, and year-over-year traffic is a bit of a dance.

Sponsors

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

That’s what I have to say to all our sponsors. We’re so damn lucky to work with a lineup of sponsors that I wholeheartedly endorse as well as literally use their products. We have different sponsors all the time, but these are the biggest and those who have been with us the longest.

Automattic: Thanks for building great software for the WordPress ecosystem. This site is made possible by a heaping helping of that software.

Netlify: Thanks for bringing the Jamstack world to life. I’m also a big fan of this way of building websites, and think that Jamstack should be the foundation for most websites. Beyond that, you’ve redefined modern developer experience.

Flywheel: Thank you for hosting this website, being a high-quality host I can trust and who has been helpful to me countless times. This is what high-quality WordPress hosting looks like.

Frontend Masters: Thank you for being an education partner that does things right and helps me have the best possible answer for people when they are searching a more structured formal education about doing web work: go try Frontend Masters.

If you’re trying to reach front-end developers with your products, that’s literally how I make a living and can help.

My Other Projects

CodePen is no spring chicken either, being over 8 years old itself. I repeat myself a lot with this particular aspect of talking about CodePen: we’ve got a ton of ideas, a ton of work to do, and we can’t wait to show you the CodePen of tomorrow. 2020 for CodePen has been a lot different than the last 2-3 years of CodePen. Some technical choices we’ve made have been starting to pay off. The team is vibing very well and absolutely tearing through work faster than I would have thought possible a few years ago, and we haven’t even unlocked some of the biggest doors yet. I know that’s vague, but we talk in more detail about stuff on CodePen Radio.

ShopTalk, as ever, is going strong. That’s 420 episodes this week, friends. Dave has me convinced that our format as it is, is good. We aren’t an instruction manual. You don’t listen to any particular episode because we’re going to teach you some specific subject that we’ve explicitly listed out. It’s more like water cooler talk between real world developers who develop totally different things in totally different situations, but agree on more than we disagree. We might evolve what ShopTalk show is over time, but this format will live on because there is value in discussion in this format.

Life

My wife Miranda and I are still in Bend, Oregon and our Daughter Ruby is two and a half. She’s taking a nap and I’m looking at the monitor as I type.

We have the virus here like everywhere else. It’s sad to think that we’re this far into it and our local hospital is pleading with people to be careful this holiday weekend because they are very near capacity and can’t take much more. Here’s hoping we can get past this painful period. Stay safe and stay cool, friends, thanks for reading.

I always feel bad when I make design changes away from an actual professional designer’s work. Is the site design better today than Kylie’s original? Uhm probably not (sorry for wrecking it Kylie!), but sometimes I just have an itch to fiddle with things and give things a fresh look. But the biggest driver of change is the evolving needs of the site and my desire to manage things with as little technical debt as possible, and sometimes simplifying design things helps me get there.

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